A
female
age
51-59,
*cutered
writes:I have been with a man for a year now..first six months just dating. I wouldt commit to him due to a new divorce, which drove him crazy to the point he was ready to give up on me...so with that in mind I gave in. I had great feelings for him and we shared fabulous times together. The past six months, when were together again times are fabulous BUT apart..not so good. We generally text 40x's a day...last week maybe fourty all week. I didt even get a good morning one morning which takes two seconds texting. He says I'm his future bride, how I am so good to him....well if this is the case this why is it not shown when were apart? I've asked him...he says he's just busy, but to me...we all make a lil time for whats important to us. He told me Tuesday he would bring wood for fireplace..after 2 attempts didt happen...Sunday I bought my own. He then got MAD. We didt speak for two days...he text gd nite both nites...I didt respond due to the hurtful things he had sad when he was upset. After thinking of how inconsiderate he had been last wk I ended the relationship, he didt respond. I text him the following day about a comment on fb...he replied and said he was going to bed. Which made me angry since I felt he ignored me the week before...I told him off...bad. I'm not proud. Yet I dont feel bad for it was the truth.It has been two days and its driving me crazy! Again this has happened in the past (couple times)and I always contact him to make-up...in which he's always ready to except. Should I wait for him to contact me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2012): I would give it a few days to let steam blow over before calling. since you got upset and fought with him I would say you might need to be the one to contact him. If he was at fault then I would av said wait for him to call. I don;t like the fact that he sometimes says things and doesn't follow through or he doesn't contact you as often as he should. But sometimes people are truly busy, although rare that anyone (including a president) is too busy to send a simple text or make a quick phone call. You are right, we make time for the things we want. anyways, give him some time and then call probably not more that 2-3 days. Also try not to jump to anger when he does something wrong to avoid behaving in a way that might cause you regret
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 November 2012):
 WOW! You are so back and forth with this guy.
He liked you enough to want to commit. You did not commit. He waited. YOU did commit.
40 texts a day A DAY? I’ve been with my husband 2 years, the first year of our relationship we were living in two different cities I don’t think we’ve had more than 40 texts in two years. That to me seems excessive.
“I didt even get a good morning one morning which takes two seconds texting.” SERIOUSLY? You are upset that you didn’t get a “good morning text” Maybe he was busy…. We used to have good morning wake up phone calls… so I would make sure he was awake and I would call him at bedtime… if I missed a night he didn’t get all upset. I think that for you to be angry over not getting a good morning text is a bit much. We have a rule in our home, you can’t leave for work without kissing the other goodbye… last week my husband left before I got downstairs and didn’t kiss me goodbye… is this an offense I should punish him for? He BROKE a HOUSE RULE after all…. Naw I just chided him a bit about it when I got home that night.. but it was not something so severe as to fight about it.
“He told me Tuesday he would bring wood for fireplace..after 2 attempts didt happen...Sunday I bought my own.” DID he say WHEN? Did you tell him you needed it THEN and there? Did he know you were OUT? Did you tell him “never mind I’ll get it myself” or did you just do it and get all huffy about it?
“I didt respond due to the hurtful things he had sad when he was upset” so you sulked and acted like a child…. He tried to be nice… to text you and you gave negative feedback. You gave negative feedback when he didn’t text you and when he did… poor man must be so confused.
“After thinking of how inconsiderate he had been last wk I ended the relationship, he didt respond. I text him the following day about a comment on fb...he replied and said he was going to bed. Which made me angry since I felt he ignored me the week before...I told him off...bad. I'm not proud.”
Ok so you ended the relationship…. That’s fine… but then the NEXT day when you were BROKEN UP you texted him about something you saw on facebook… and he actually was polite enough to text you that he was going to bed (probably more to keep you from blowing up his phone). He replies to your text and YOU STILL GET ANGRY… and why? BECAUSE OF SOMETHING IN THE PAST… (I felt he ignored me the week before)
So you BLEW up at him. So all the times he responds YOU GET ANGRY…
How about you don’t wait for him to contact you and you don’t contact him and you call it over and done and move on.
Because to be honest if he doesn't contact you, you will be angry... but to be honest I can't see him wanting to be abused by your inconsistent mood swings.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (23 November 2012):
 In all honesty the guy isn't a chess piece on a board. You cannot move him around to suit you or treat him like shit if he doesn't do something you expect him to do.
You blasted him for not texting you enough and then ignored him when he did?...how confusing for him. I can tell you that men have a very low tolerance for hysterical mind games...they like it spelled out and if a guy don't want to do something...he sure as hell ain't going to do it.
When the guy is with you, he shows you love and respect, but the minute he's out of sight you start panicking if he doesn't text constantly??? 40 texts a day is a lot...ever heard of 'a little space is good???' or 'absence makes the heart grow fonder??'
It's clear to see that you are keeping score on the guy, judging every little misdemeanour, lambasting him for faults and down right sulking if he don't do what you want...how suffocating!!!
You create a storm and then go rushing back in!!!
If you ain't happy with the guy then dump him. If you are happy...then BE HAPPY and give the guy a little lattitude to be a guy and show genuine affection when he wants to...not because you are constantly poking him with a big stick and keeping a score card!!!
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