A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend doesn't want to go down on me. We have been physical for about 3 months. He loves having sex and always wants me to go down on him. I do because I enjoy it and want to make him happy. But he won't return the favor. I only got him to do it once after lots of coaxing. I don't think he thinks it's gross. He loves to look at my girly bits or at least I think he does because he often puts me in very revealing positions. And he loved using his hands. He doesn't mind when I am really wet. But for some reason he wont go down on me. He said he has only done it to one other girl, I am guessing it was his last long term relationship with a girl who broke his heart. What should I do? Do I accept it and never get oral or pry and get him to tell me why?
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female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 just stop giving him a blow coz then youre not getting any oral urself.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2013):
 Some people do not like performing oral sex.
You are with one of those men. If you must have oral sex performed for you as part of your sexual repertoire then this is not the man for you.
I do not believe in withholding of fellatio as a way to get him to perform cunnilingus as that means he's doing it under duress.
His excuse that it won't be special any more is in my opinion a crock of shit. And I would call him on it by saying "fine from now on you only get blow jobs on special occasions (like after you've gone down on ME properly)" BTW the PROPERLY part will be key.. because he could go down give you three licks and be done... that's NOT PROPERLY. This is not withholding of fellatio to get cunnilingus but rather playing by his RULES to keep is SPECIAL.
Now if you have a man like mine who absolutely WILL NOT do it... then you have to make a choice... live without it or leave him. And if you choose to live without it, then you can give him as many blow jobs as you like... but you must NEVER expect him to go down on you in return or EVER to be honest.
Honey you are TOO YOUNG to give up something in your sexual life that you like.... I'd actually consider kicking this man to the curb.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): I understand you know wanting to with hold anything but he is not giving you a real reason and therefor he is with holding on you. It cant be one rule for one and another rule for the other.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): Ask him why he wont and if he did to an ex why can he do it to you.
If it is still a no then dont not go down on him and stay strong about it. My BF was the same and I did this he now dose it whenever I want.. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked him why and he said because it won't be special anymore if he does it all the time. That makes no sense to me. I go down on him 3-4 times a day when we are together.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): there might be a reason associated with his ex, but chances are it's nothing. Guys don't usually attach emotional conflict to sexual acts like that, you just need to tell him you want it, and if he wont... well... ask him why, and if it's something silly, I say you also pick a silly reason you wont do him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to with hold anything from him, I think it's wrong to manipulate someone. If he really doesn't want to do it and he has a good reason then I will understand. There are things I won't let him do because someone forced me in the past. Since I told him that he has never brought it up.
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A
male
reader, Rexwhizzy  +, writes (18 March 2013):
 Tok to him abt it nd u shud look veri serious on the mata.....if he insist then u shud also gettin dwn on him..wen he misses it frm u..he will now return d favor so dat u start again
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 March 2013):
Start by telling him that it's important that he returns the favor and that without oral you feel like something is missing. That'll start the conversation.
If, after that, he still refuses, you can do the same.
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