A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How do I tell him I'm a virgin?...It sounds stupid but we have been talking for a while. And our conversations via texts get heated a lot and we "sext" pretty much.I don't recall him ever asking me about previous partners so I think he just assumes I have had sex before. Now it's been ages since we started talking and he's asking me to stay over at his... I don't know how to put it to him that I am a virgin... Sounds silly because I should just come out with it but I don't want to lose him :(
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 Sweetie yeah you have only met each other twice, if he wanted something more serious then he would not be inviting you to stay over, and he would not have introduced sexting unless you both where a lot more involved.
You say he would not put in this effort if he only wanted sex but I disagree, I think he would as what effort is he making? Phone calls? Messages? That does not cost him anything. Has he mentioned taking you on a date? Bought you flowers or chocolates? Made an effort financially at all?
I understand you like him and you don't want to lose him, but if he liked you he would be okay with you being a virgin and would wait until you are ready. But from the sounds of things he won't do that.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016): That's what I was thinking.... But would he really hang around for months, just to hook up?
I mean, surely he would have given up trying by now?
So do I just come out with it? Do I just say the reason why I'm not keen to stay at his is because I know he wants sex? And then add in I'm a virgin?
Thanks to everyone so far for your comments :)
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 You will lose him anyway, virgin or not.He just wants to hook up.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (20 October 2016):
 What are you hoping for from this boy? Because it sounds to me like he just wants to have sex with you if he's only invited you to his house. Is that what you want? Because the majority of times I hear of this scenario the guy has what he wants and that's then he stops speaking to the girl.
Would that be how you want to lose your virginity? If you want a relationship with this guy then you need to make him work for it and he needs to take you on dates and what not. He can't just invite you to his house for sex.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 October 2016):
 Don't stay at his unless you want to hook up - that's all it'll be. No commitment, not a lot of trust and it wouldn't be a wise plan.
What do you want from this?
As for telling him, if you're even considering going to his, you just tell him. If you don't feel able to, you're not ready to have sex - especially not with him.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I don't want you to do something you may regret.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2016): To the person above ^
We have met twice. Was at his house last time we met. Been speaking for a good few months now.
We have made out a lot..
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (19 October 2016):
Have you met this guy yet? How many times? Has there been any physical contact at all or just sexting. It's not clear from your post and it would make a world of difference to my answer.
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