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questions you can never answer

angelDliteangelDlite, posted over a year ago

being bored this evening, been having a surf and found these little gems... (please feel free to reply with some of your own questions that have been puzzling you...

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on.........

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

(i bet you nodded in agreement when you read those!)

Posted on 25 August 2011 @ 22:55 (London time) - permalink
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, posted over a year ago

how come there's not more people on these forums-? oh, Good post-!

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 4:6 (London time) - permalink
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unknown2u, posted over a year ago

Agreed, good post. Probably because if you search the archives there's so much wild, interesting stuff there.

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 7:23 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

hee hee

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 13:11 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Hey you guys guess who is having a hurricane today?

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 14:4 (London time) - permalink
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Irish49Irish49, posted over a year ago

Yikes! Hurricane Irene is supposed to hit the US east coast..today. Is it in your neck of the woods, Eyes?! :(

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 14:10 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Oh yeah I'm in North Carolina by the beach. It's going to get very interesting in a couple of hours!

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 14:34 (London time) - permalink
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Irish49Irish49, posted over a year ago

Oh my! Stay well and be safe, Eyes!

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 14:50 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

I have my flashlight and my scotch so I'll be just ducky.

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 15:2 (London time) - permalink
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Irish49Irish49, posted over a year ago

haha! Your hilarious! Have a good shot for me. ;) (wink)

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 15:18 (London time) - permalink
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Irish49Irish49, posted over a year ago

Angel, loved your post...lots of funny stuff! Heehee

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 16:41 (London time) - permalink
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C. GrantC. Grant, posted over a year ago

What's the flashlight for?

Posted on 26 August 2011 @ 22:37 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Finding where the scotch is if the roof blows off. Ack! Stay safe there, Eyes!

Posted on 27 August 2011 @ 1:5 (London time) - permalink
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Thelaird1Thelaird1, posted over a year ago

If you could drill a hole through the earth and put a ladder down it. What would happen if you slid down it? Would you come out feet first at the other side? I've always wondered this one

Posted on 27 August 2011 @ 16:8 (London time) - permalink
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angelDliteangelDlite, posted over a year ago

dunno if you would come out feet first but i wonder long it would take to slide! i bet there is a formula somewhere to work this out

Posted on 27 August 2011 @ 16:41 (London time) - permalink
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C. GrantC. Grant, posted over a year ago

There is the small issue of the several hundred miles of molten iron at the centre of the earth that would tend to make the journey uncomfortable. Other than that, I believe that you wouldn't in fact go through to the other side, you'd stop in the middle. Gravity is a function of mass, and in the precise centre of the earth there is a uniform amount of mass in every direction, so there wouldn't be anything to tug you farther on.

Posted on 27 August 2011 @ 18:47 (London time) - permalink
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dirtballdirtball, posted over a year ago

C. Grant's right about that one, you could always reverse and climb out to the other side, if you could survive the heat. Oh yeah, and falling down a hole like that, with no friction, you'd be falling at an increasing velocity of 9.8 meters per second.

Here's an observational question. When people find something they've been looking for, why do they always feel the need to say, "It was in the last place I looked?" As if they would find it, but keep searching for it anyway... Of COURSE it's in the last place you looked!

Posted on 28 August 2011 @ 7:44 (London time) - permalink
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C. GrantC. Grant, posted over a year ago

Thanks, dirtball, but if I can be pedantic, you'd actually be falling a 9.8 m/s/s, or 9.8 m/s2 {acceleration due to gravity}. Although as you approached the centre of gravity the number would doubtless change. Regardless, a fairly unpleasant experience, particularly as your ladder would be inclined to melt.

As for "the last place I looked" -- I think that's just one of the little perqs we grant ourselves as humans. ;)

Posted on 28 August 2011 @ 7:59 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Hurricane's over..lost some tree limbs...but what I can never understand is why hurricanes give me such a nasty hangover...

Posted on 28 August 2011 @ 16:15 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

must be something to do with the barometric pressure

Posted on 28 August 2011 @ 16:25 (London time) - permalink
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C. GrantC. Grant, posted over a year ago

Glad you're still with us, Eyes. Try drinking clear fluids next hurricane - vodka, perhaps?

Posted on 28 August 2011 @ 19:18 (London time) - permalink
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dirtballdirtball, posted over a year ago

Crap! Been too long since I took physics. I bet you're right about it increasing closer to the center as well. per second squared... :-P

Glad to hear you're alright Eyes!

Posted on 28 August 2011 @ 20:39 (London time) - permalink
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angelDliteangelDlite, posted over a year ago

hi dirtball good to see you!

but if there was no gravity and no molten core etc, what would happen? like if it was the same as in the video for 'Bliss' by Muse?

got some more questions that need answering...

Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say

"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a ***?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries

have a use by date?

What do people in China call their good plates?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?

Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,

you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

Posted on 29 August 2011 @ 17:33 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

Angel, those are some tough questions. I spent all day trying to put on mascara and keeping my mouth closed. It looks like I lost a prizefight. Ah well.

Eyes, I'm so happy to hear you weren't washed out to sea. Try leaving the booze in the barometric pressure reading thingie? Or pay the extra buck fifty for a name brand. hee.

As for the whole falling through the center of the earth, molten core and acceleration due to gravity. um. ow. my brain hurts.....

Posted on 30 August 2011 @ 2:47 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Katia? What the hell kind of name is that? This season is gonna cost me especially if I get the name brand stuff.

Posted on 30 August 2011 @ 16:11 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if after wards it doesn't work anymore?

Posted on 30 August 2011 @ 16:24 (London time) - permalink
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Irish49Irish49, posted over a year ago

Good grief!! Katia! A new hurricane forming at sea...I really hope it stays out there, this time! Any news if that one will hit the US east coast?

Posted on 30 August 2011 @ 16:29 (London time) - permalink
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eyeswideopeneyeswideopen, posted over a year ago

Not yet, they'll start doing that endless count down and speculation models driving everyone looney...

Posted on 30 August 2011 @ 16:49 (London time) - permalink
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Tisha-1Tisha-1, posted over a year ago

The Weather Channel, 24/7. Woohoo!

kiddingggg.... I hope she takes herself far away from the coast, just to preserve your wallet, Eyes. And liver.

Posted on 30 August 2011 @ 21:15 (London time) - permalink
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