A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 months ago. I've been trying to call him a few times and left messages but he hasn't returned or picked up the phone when I called. He's a smart man and I've known him for more than 6 years now. He's very business minded, always thinking of a way to make money and more. I've been trying to get a hold of him because I think he might be in a bad environment trying to make money because the business didn't turn out well so he's in a financial rut. Even though I know he's smart, I don't trust the people around him. When we were together, he talks about what he plans to do and I would say how I feel about them and he wouldn't do what I think or feel isn't right. But now that we're not together, he's just doing whatever he thinks would better his situation. I've been hearing stories about the environment he's in and some people are getting into hot water with the authority even getting arrested. I care so much for him even though we aren't together anymore because he will always be a friend to me. I've been wondering if:1) I should tell his family about what's going on. I think his mother is aware of what he's doing but not the entire situation of the people he might be hanging around with. For all I know, he might not even be hanging around these people but I wouldn't know because he's been unresponsive to my calls. So get in touch with his family? Although I've been with him for more than 6 years, I spoke with his mom probably once and sister once/twice. 2) Go look for him myself and talk to him first but it would be a hit/miss for me to find him not knowing exactly where he is but an idea of where he might be.3) Since we're not together anymore and he might be bitter, let him do/say whatever he wants because it's his life?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 It could only be your perceptions but reality maybe different .Since he has not responded to your overtures, there is no point in talking to him or to his family . You might not even get a good reception there.
If he wants to go to the deep end of the pool, there is nothing you can do much even if you throw him a lifebuoy.
He will have to tough it out all by himself.
It is comendable that you still intent to help him because of old time sake.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 February 2010):
Option 3. He is your ex, let him make his own choices and mistakes. No matter what you think, he is now an ex and it's no longer your problem. Let him go, let him make his own choices while you focus on your own life.
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