A
female
age
,
*edwinefetacheeseandolives
writes:HelpI am dating a guy and we are pretty serious, I am intending to give up my business and way of life to move in with him, he tells me he loves me and I feel the same but due to other difficult relationships in the past I am always wary ... We have an interesting sex life which includes BDSM which we both enjoy. I have discovered that he is visiting MALE BDSM,s for sessions and is prepared to submit to their sexual advances fully. I know that he will himself be safe but is everyone. The biggest problem for me is that he is Lying to me and cheating ... It is obviously something that he has done for a while as I have discovered e mails relating to this (He does not know I am aware of any of these things) What am I going to do, I feel that I can never trust any Man and almost accept this but do I need to talk to him about it if we are to continue with this relationship ? It is driving me crazy.
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female
reader, Carina  +, writes (9 February 2007):
 There are several issues here. First: I would be very wary of giving up your business and way of life to move in with someone who's not being entirely honest with you. If he can keep this hidden there may be other things you don't know. It's probably not what you want to hear, but I'm sure you realise it's true. You MUST talk to him about this, but do it in a calm manner. Explain your fears about safety and ask him why he does it. Try to get him to open up to you and be completely honest. Explain that you feel you can't trust him any more and have a discussion about your relationship. Then you'll have to make a decision about whether or not he's the right person for you. It may be that he's terrified to tell you about this in case he loses you and that it's the only thing he's lied to you about, but there may be more to it than that. Whatever you do, don't get into a longterm relationship with this guy until you've sorted this out and know exactly what's going on. It may be that you will have to walk away from it in the end, but it will save you a lot of heartache in the future. I hope this helps.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007): errr madam- your getting to get a lot more response if you can let us into what the initials stand for !! if its too blunt to say then use imagination and 'hint' !!
i must have led a more shelterd life than i thought- is it good ?!
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