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My real name is obviously NOT Phoebe Halliwell and no, I'm not Alyssa Milano either, though it'd be awesome if I were. I chose this name (Phoebe Halliwell) because she's a strong character and has been through some tough times in love herself, coming out stronger and still believing.
I'm young, single and live in the UK. I don't have any form of qualification, just a big heart and the occassional spare moment!
I have a pretty open mind and can relate to a lot of people. I'm the right side of 25 and have had some serious ups and downs! I'm just here to give you guys a fresh pair of eyes on a situation that seems to have no solution, sometimes that's all you need :)
Peace,
Phoebe
*NOTE* I'm going back to school for a while to try and change my career path. This means I won't be answering as quickly as I usually do but will still accept private e-mails from those seeking my advice. |
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Boyfriend treats me like unwanted object.. What should I do??
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 months and i already dont know if i can trust him. i only get to see him once or twice a week and when he goes out he never asks me to come, and when i call him the next day he says that he didnt get home until 3 ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear reader -
if he is treating you badly then break up with him, it's not hard. You say yourself he's treating you like an unwanted object. If he's hiding you at home while he goes out doesn't that say anything to you? He should take you out, spoi... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex... could I be pregnant?
Q. hi i had unprotected sex a day after my period had finished and was just wandering if i could still have gotten pregnant. ...
A. 29 May 2006: Hi,
of course it's still possible to be pregnant. Whenever you think you are safe.
Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx... (read in full...)
Two boyfriends.... one choice.
Q. I have 2 boyfriends. I have been with Dave for 2 1/2 years, and about a year ago i met a guy called Liam and we started going out. I am at university so the deception was quite easy. But neither bf knows about the other, and i am to graduate soon, ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
Having two on the go is a tricky situation. You simply had to ask yourself some questions.
1) - if they were both drowning, who would you save first?
2) has one of them ever cheated?
3) which one did you feel happiest with?
... (read in full...)
If they are trouble,but I love them, do I go for it?
Q. If there's someone who you're totally in love with, your heart says go for it but your head says that the person is trouble, do you go for it?...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
if you listen to your heart, there is a 50/50 percent chance of it either working or not working, if you listen to your head, you'll probably be forever wondering what would have happened if you had done this and done that. If your hear... (read in full...)
Hung up over ex.... driving me nuts!!!!
Q. Hi all. after 10 years I am still head over heals with my ex and its driving me nuts he is however back in my life now and would hate to let him go again without telling him how I feel the thought of rejection holds me back he txs and has the nack ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
I will give you one single golden nugget of advice - if it was meant to be, he wouldn't be called your ex, he would be called either your husband, life partner or boyfriend.
Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx... (read in full...)
I talked to her online and now I think I have fallen for her
Q. This is gonna sound really stupid. I have been talkin to a girl on the net for approx 2 months, she is a friend of a friend, but we had never met face to face until yesterday. I bought her flowers and chocolates an a card sayin what i was feeli...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
it is completely normal what you are feeling. I can most definately say you are the most romantic person i have EVER had to answer a problem to. This girl will be lucky to have you. Listen to yourself! "If she wants to meet me agai... (read in full...)
I need to know...What is love?
Q. What is the difference between love for a friend and a lover? If you're in love with someone but there's no lust then is it still the 'romantic' type of love?...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
love can have nothing to do with lust. They are two seperate things. Let me explain -
Lust - the urge to be with someone physically, like touching them etc.
Love - a strong feeling for them. not to touch them, but an urge to make... (read in full...)
In love with an ex who has moved on
Q. I met this man in September last year and we went out for 6 weeks. He phoned and text every day but we did not see each other every day. Because I had just come out of a 25 year marriage his constant texts and calls frightened me and so I foolishly ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear lizzy,
First things first, Congrats, you found that special someone. Next, do you possibly think he just said that he was seeing someone else just so scare You off? Maybe he did like you but wants to start something with someone else?
Mov... (read in full...)
I really like this girl but she's taken...
Q. Hi I really really like this chick, but shes got a bf that shes quite close to. And to make matters worse she's best friends with my sister. I already told her once how I felt and she told me she thought I was cool to talk to and stuff but she ha...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
yeah buy her a present! It's a sign that you respect her and chances are it'll make her see u like her and make her like u more! It's really sweet you're going to so much trouble for just one girl and i think all us female agony aunt... (read in full...)
My boyfriend found out I lied and it's ruining our relationship...
Q. I am 20 and two years ago I met such an amazing guy, he was the first guy who respected me for who I am but because of various past experiences I was afraid to commit to a relationship and treated him quite badly for a long time. Last April we were ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
You feel it's ruining your relationship, this shows you are committed and are a true and faithful person, girlfriend and all around good guy (well, girl lol!)
You feel angry at your boyfriend because you're trying to make him see how ... (read in full...)
Ladies... Briefs or boxers?
Q. DO girls prefer briefs of boxers???...
A. 29 May 2006: Boxers!... (read in full...)
Should my baby have my surname or his??....
Q. I'm pregnant and my babies father 4 years older than me and he wants the baby to have his last name......
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
First off, just let me say Congratulations! If you are not actually married to the babys' father there is no reason why the baby should take his name. Are you and the baby's father together? How about a double barrel surname?
At th... (read in full...)
We want to move in together but his mother just won't let go!
Q. I have been with my partner for the past twelve months and I feel it is time that we move in together. He is 15 years older than I am and is still living at home with his parents where his mum is having a hard time letting go of her son and also ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Anon, Your partner is in a very dificult situation. Think of it from his point of view. He is in love with this lovely woman and really wants to love together and start a family. However, he can't bear to hurt his dear old mum. Why don't you ... (read in full...)
I'm in a relationship, but my ex wants me back, too!
Q. Please help me. I'm in a present relationship now at almost about 4 years. My ex-bf wants to win me back and I love him too. What shall I do? I love them both......
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader,
First of all - it's great that you've found two people you care for so deeply. How long were you with your ex?
So you're saying, it ended with your ex (were you over him before you started this new relationship?) And you found someone ... (read in full...)
We dont see each other any more, I think im going off her!
Q. i think im going off my girlfriend. wev been together for a little over 4 months n its difficult getting a chance to see eachother. wev also been arguing a bit reciently-which is probably due to the fact were both going through a bit of a stressful ...
A. 29 May 2006: Dear Reader, in stressful times, your partner is sometimes your last priority. What if she has a family problem? Let her fight her battles while you fight yours. If you feel you are going off her, keep it going. Who knows, when the stressfu... (read in full...)
My friend has organised a blind date with an older girl, How do I act ?
Q. Help Please! last night my friend told me that he has organised for me and him to go on a date with two other girls. I said ok but im quite worried because im 16 and the girl im seeing is 17 or 18 and i have never seen her before. Does anyone know ...
A. 28 May 2006: Dear Reader,
I would be yourself. If you don't get this girl's number, it's not the end of the world. If you end up embarressing yourself, you'll egt over it. If this girl doesn't like you, then it's her loss. Be the nice guy you are and i'm sure... (read in full...)
I think i'm bisexual or a lesbian... confused!
Q. I think i am bisexual or a lesbian i am only 13 years old.I have never kissed or been intimate with a boy.I look at girls at school and wonder what it would be like to kiss or do more with them. This boy asked me out 2 nights ago but i'm torn ...
A. 28 May 2006: Dear Reader,
there is no shame in being a bi or a lesbian. I'm not, but you'll never know if you are for sure. I'd say go out with this boy, if he likes you enough to ask you out, then it's obvious you don't look like a bi or a lesbian. Go for It!!... (read in full...)
In love with my second cousin!!! Should I go for it?
Q. i am in love with my second cousin, at first i thought it was just one of them silly little crushes i have, but now i know that i love her, but i do not know what she feels about me, as i have asked her out before and she said noo and im afraid to ...
A. 28 May 2006: Hi,
I wouln't go for it just yet. If she said no once then I wouldn't push her. If she doesn't want to go out with you, then she doesn't want to go out with you.
By help if you mean give you a quick fix to this problem then there is nothing ... (read in full...)
My mom controls everything I do!
Q. Hi. Im 16 years old and my mum is a controlling, interfering bitch. Everything I achieve for myself, she uses to show me off to her snobby friends, like I'm some kind of perfect child prodigy. I'm allowed to go out, but if I get up to anything...
A. 27 May 2006: Dear Reader,
I'm afraid here there is no quick solution. You have not made it clear WHY your Mum disapproves so much. Is it purely just because he's older, or could there be something she isn't telling you?
In your Mum's eyes nobody is good eno... (read in full...)
I'm showing the signs of pregnancy... could it be?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are both 16, Im on the pill, but recently keep forgetting to take it! and i have been throwing up and feeling terrible for over a week, am i pregnant?...
A. 27 May 2006: Dear Reader,
the only way to truly tell if you are pregnant is to do the basic checks:
1. have you had sex lately or before you started feeling terrible?
2. If the answer to number one is yes, did u take the pill before you had sex?
3. have you t... (read in full...)
How to tell my boyfriend i think we should see other people!
Q. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for more than a year now but I've recently met this other boy who's kind of swept me off my feet. I really really like him. I'm thinking of leaving my boyfriend for him but .. what if I'm just jumping to ...
A. 27 May 2006: Dear Reader,
Don't Stress, just relax and think for a minute. Ask yourself these questions:
1. How long have you known this Guy - how long have you known your boyfriend?
2. How well do you know this guy - has he got a girlfriend?
3. Is he more... (read in full...)
Pregnant, but don't want everyone to know who's the daddy!
Q. I'm in a real big mess and don't know what to do. I'm pregnant and I told who I thought to be the babys father. He didn't want to know which was fine, I didnt expect him to but after going to the doctors I've found out i may be further on than i ...
A. 27 May 2006: Dear Reader,
You have a right to your privacy. If you don't want to tell everyone who the real father is, it's your choice. And I don't think anyone reading this thinks you are a slut in any way, shape or form possible.
There is no need to be sc... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my fling's new girlfriend!
Q. Hi, I am 20 and have had a relationship with my neighbour. It was just a fling to satisfy each other (sex) but he started dating my friends and I started to get jealous. I have developed feelings for him but they only lasted a few months and then...
A. 27 May 2006: Dear Reader,
I am under the suspicion that your so called Jealousy is not as bad as it seems. You are so eager to find that special someone, that you will do anything to find him as fast as possible. This sounds bad when infact it is very sweet of y... (read in full...)
Alone after abortion and feel so low.
Q. I have recently split up from my boyfriend of a year because he wanted to go back to his home country. I offered to go with him but he said he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment because we would have to get married. This was back in feb that i ...
A. 26 May 2006: Dear Reader,
you have not lost everything. If you hd kept your baby it would have asked questions about his/her Daddy sooner or later. What is more painful? Being happy and then finding out Daddy did a runner, or not knowing to start off with.
... (read in full...)
My family don't like my long term boyfriend, help!
Q. MY boyfriend and i have been going out for 5 years.My mom and my sister do not agree with our relationship.They want to send me to New York to forget him.Should i go go New york then to France to see my boyfriend?...
A. 20 May 2006: Dear Redaer,
do you know why they do not approve?
Could it possibly be they value you so much that they think only the best is good enough for you and they can't see he's the best in your eyes? They are family, they can say what they like, bu... (read in full...)
Our relationship consists of.... Sex. Should there be more?
Q. i have been with my partner for 4 years the trouble i dont know what the relationship is! all we do is have sex, i dont know his freinds or family nor he mine. i love him but dont know if he feels the same do i stay with him and carry on as we are ...
A. 20 May 2006: Dear Reader,
normally in your kind of situation I would advise talking about everything you have mentioned above to your partner. However, you have come up with the very reasonable point of you not wanting to loose him. Does he ever do romantic gest... (read in full...)
In love with my friend
Q. hi i have a problem there is this guy who is my friend. recently i have been feeling towards him deeper feelings.he is in and out of a going no where relationship. he likes the girl but she doesnt really care and has other relationships. he even ...
A. 20 May 2006: Dear Reader,
I have been in exactly the same situation and what I can best advise is when your friendtrys again to get you to accept being his cousins girlfriend, tell him you said no because there is someone else you like. Little hints like this... (read in full...)
I fancy a shy girl...how do I make my move
Q. Hi. I have posted about this before but thought I'd give an update and would like some more opinions as I'm so confused! To recap, There's a girl who lives near me who knows I like her cos I sent her a card, she was always nice and smiley towards me ...
A. 17 May 2006: Dear Reader,
so glad you've found that someone special. Why don't you just talk to her and say you just need her to listen for a second. Tell her everything and then say, "but if you're not interested just say .. " this garantees' a response as if s... (read in full...)
Will my ex hubby come back?
Q. Will my ex husband come back to me he loves me and I love him ...
A. 14 May 2006: Dear Reader,
A definate answer to this paticular problem nobody can give you. If you both have feelings for each other why did you split? More importnatly, does he want to come back? do you WANT him to come back?!?
He will come back if he wants to... (read in full...)
Don't know how to handle being with such a lovely guy...
Q. I have been seeing by new bf for nearly 2 months. He is wonderful and very affectionate. We had both been split up from our ex's for about 1 month before we got togther but feel we had both moved on from that ok enough to start seeing each other. ...
A. 14 May 2006: Dear Daisy!!
I am so happy for you finding a lovely guy!
You feel nervous because you are afraid of loosing this guy because his Parents will not accept you or believe you are good enough for their child.
It's awful having a bad past, it wil... (read in full...)
My ex says his current girl is beautiful but he declares undying love for me! What's going on here?
Q. WOAH Ok a couple of days ago my ex declared his undying love for me, and today he's telling me how beautiful the girl he's now seeing is. What's he playing at?...
A. 14 May 2006: Dear Reader,
exes can send many mixed signals to most of us "used to be g/fs" but my best guess is he wants you as standby. Incase this God's Gift to Men she-devil relationship doesn't work out. If he had un-dying love for you, he would break up w... (read in full...)
My boyfriends sister hates me... And I wish he could stop being so sweet to his sister because of this!
Q. my boyfriends sister hates me more than anything. shes 23 and im 20 and my boyfriend is 19. When we started dating everything was nice then around 6months we found out that she was writing all this hateful stuff about me in her livejournal. then 1 ...
A. 13 May 2006: Dear Reader,
Try to find out WHY she dislikes you so much. Maybe she just doesn't want her brother to get hurt in a relationship, she just wants to protect her family?
Your Boyfriend is caught up in the middle of a War Zone. He is being made to ... (read in full...)
We broke up, he wooed me back, it seemed like he had changed and we got back together - but now he's back to his old ways!
Q. I need some advice please. My boyfriend and I got back together in Jan after a break of about 3 mths. We both cheated (only kissed) other people, so decided it would be best to go our separate ways and see how we feel. After a while when h...
A. 8 May 2006: Dear Reader in a tight spot!
I know what you mean. It can be difficult at times to know what to do. Especially when you have feelings for the person and want to push them away but not loose them at the same time. It depends if you have true feel... (read in full...)
Its all over and I wish I could erase the memories we shared!!
Q. I've been in a long distance realtionship for two years with my girlfriend who has a five year old son. I found out from someone that my girlfriend was pregnant for someone else where she works and she was at least 4 months. She never told me. I ...
A. 30 April 2006: Dear Reader and Friend in Need, there is no easy answer to this one I'm afraid. It's a hard and rough road forgetting about someone and erasing them from your life and heart. Have you told your girlfriend it was over? Or did she tell you? Have you ... (read in full...)
School guy keeps hassling me about relationship, What can I do?
Q. Hi, So there's this guy that i know from my primary school and i hadn't seen him for a few years but then my friend told me she had became friendly with him again. So she invited him to come out with us and our friends and he kept teasing ...
A. 22 April 2006: Hi,
if you don't like him in that way, dont go out with him. It's all down to you at the end of the day. It's your desicion, not his, he can't control you.
You will feel guilty after telling him this, but what else can you do? He's probably... (read in full...)
I keep thinking of ex, Should I break up with my current gf?
Q. I use to date this girl and she cared for me more than the world, but I thought I needed to get out so I broke up with her along with breaking her heart. After a couple of months I realized I really loved her but she had moved on and didnt want to ...
A. 22 April 2006: Dear Reader,
yours is indeed a pressing problem. It seems here you are stuck in between two women. What you have to decide is who you want to be with more. Are you sure that your ex is who you want to be with? To be sure of your actions, you firs... (read in full...)
Torn between two guys and now my friend is blaming rumours on me!!!
Q. hey, I'm having trouble with two problems. The first one is that i have a boyfriend but i like some one else as well and i cant choose, Second is that some one spread a rumor about my mate saying that shes only going out with this lad to get back ...
A. 21 April 2006: Hey,
Listen to your heart, what does that tell you? What is it saying? I think deep down you know who you want to be with but you are still attached to the other, which makes you wonder if you are making the right choice.
As for the rumors, ... (read in full...)
Why won't he text me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm still finding myself in a tricky situation. My bf arrived from overseas last week (Thurs), I rarely get messages from him as he doesn't have a mobile that's working properly in the country. He went out with friends for drinks...
A. 16 April 2006: Dear Reader,
He probably hasn't texted you because he needs to sort himself out first. He's been away for this long loads of people are going to want to see him.
He must really love you too if he didn't run as afr away as possible when you tal... (read in full...)
He hasn't called and I feel like I don't matter to him anymore!
Q. please help me. I'm so annoyed. My bf arrived from overseas on Thursday, I haven't heard from him, hasn't called me, hasn't made plans to get together. While he was away, he expressed how much he loves me, and misses me etc etc, and now that We're ...
A. 15 April 2006: Dear Reader,
I can tell by reading your problem you have a strong Relationship with your partner. Have you ever stopped to consider he might be trying to get himself organised. If he's been away for long, loads of people are going to want to see ... (read in full...)
My fiancee is getting on my back about my child from a previous relationship!
Q. my fiancee is upset and getting on me all the time about my child from aprevious relationship, we both agreed to go throughthe courts for access to my child but she just hates the idea of some one else mothering my child, and its all my fault why ...
A. 15 April 2006: Hi Shaun,
So let me get this right, your past partner is getting on at you because she doesn't want anyone else mothering her child right?
This is perfectly plain and simple. As the childs' mother, your past partner (the childs' mother) does... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a mess, but I still love him. Help me stop!
Q. I have been in a relationship for 3 1/2 years and the guy still is getting in trouble and drinking constantly. He has cheated on me recently and I still love him. Why? I know he will never change. I just want to be happy. How to do I let go? When...
A. 14 April 2006: Hi,
You love him simply because you've grown attached to him over the past 3 and 1/2 years and there is a special bond there. Him cheating on you must have weakened the bond between you but you still Love him because of that bond and feeling deep... (read in full...)
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