My boyfriend is having an affair, and I don't know what to do!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together over a year now but lately our relationship is falling apart as we have begain to row about 3 months ago he told me he could meet up for a while as wanted to sort our his career etc but i later found out he has ...
A. 25 January 2011: I'm sorry to hear about this OP.
I have to say though, that you need to get out of this situation. It's not worth staying with a bf when the situation is making you ill. That's awful. You can't trust him and you are unhappy.
This relation... (read in full...)
I stumbled upon a video of my husband masturbating, on our computer!! I don't know how to deal with this..
Q. Hi, I am 19 years old. I am married. I have been married for 9 months. my husband is in the military. We have been together for 3 years. We recently moved to Germany, for his job. He is at work. I stumbled upon a video of him masturbati...
A. 25 January 2011: Hi there poster.
First of all, just calm down because I think you are jumping to a few conclusions without any proof of anything bad. Just hold on a minute. For a start, what would you be going back home to "get over"? And moreover I don't re... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 25 January 2011: Good luck OP! That is a brave step. I think you are doing the right thing, which of course is usually the hardest thing to do as well. Sounds like your bf is not the right guy for you and seems to have different priorities, as this situation has ... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable in this situation?
Q. I currently own my own condo and moved in with my boyfriend several months ago. My boyfriend also owns his home. Because I currently have a tenant in my condo, I pay my boyfriend $700 per month plus 1/2 the groceries. My tenant's lease is up in a ...
A. 24 January 2011: How long have you been together? Do you see yourselves getting married in the future?
Would there be any way you could live in your own condo while you don't have a tenant?
This is a difficult situation- any money situations can be tricky. I... (read in full...)
I cheated on my partner, and now I caught him cheating on me!
Q. For the first few years with my man i know i was a bitch. Its been over a year since i stopped seeing a married man who payed me compliments,more than my man could. Over the last year, more of what I did and who with ,my man has been finding ...
A. 19 January 2011: " So really it was his own fault in the first place, right?"
Wrong. If he wasn't treating you the way you wanted you should have told him, and if he didn't change, leave him and find someone else. This is no excuse for cheating. You basicall... (read in full...)
Question on etiquette and American culture
Q. Hello all, This is a question regarding etiquette and American culture. I am a student studying in the US but I am not an American (I am from South Korea). My student life in US has been, for most part, a very alienating experience with absol...
A. 19 January 2011: You could ask them if there's anything you can bring- they will probably say no though.
If they do I would bring a bunch of flowers for his wife (who has probably done the cooking), and a non-expensive bottle of wine or a bottle of soft drink. I... (read in full...)
I want to celebrate our 9 month anniversary, but I have a family obligation that same day!
Q. Hey! Me and my boyfriend are goin out 9 months next week and i want it to be really special, we've organized a few things aswell. Its just my mam wants me to go to my cousins confirmation on the same day!:( . How can i tell her that i cant go?...
A. 19 January 2011: OP I think that maybe the majority of posters here have the benefit of being somewhat older than you when offering a response to your question. In this case we can see things from your mother's point of view, which is that of an adult. And, as an ... (read in full...)
Middle of the night erections are painful and making me lose sleep!
Q. I am a 50 year old male, I am awoken two to three times each night with erections that are so hard they hurt. The only way to relieve them so I can go back to sleep is by urinating, sometimes very little. Is there a way to prevent these erections ...
A. 19 January 2011: Please go and see a doctor and get a referral to a urologist. This isn't the place to get medical advice; you need a qualified opinion as Guillaume says.... (read in full...)
Am I an awful person for not wanting him to go on a boys holiday?
Q. My bf broke my heart a year ago by lying and meeting up with his ex/saving half-naked photos of her on his computer. We made up and he's been good since then.My trust is SLOWLY starting to build up, but by no means is it there yet. He suddenly ...
A. 18 January 2011: OP I don't think you are a bad person at all for your response, and moreover it is easy to understand why you feel the way you do. However, I think this issue flags up a deeper issue in your relationship, basically, that you cannot trust him... (read in full...)
How do I make my father realize I'm not a little kid any more?
Q. I still live with my parents. I just got out of high school, and i'm rooming here until college. But i had my boyfriend over. And we wanted to watch a movie. So we got online and found one on netflix. We got on the couch and cuddled. And we had a ...
A. 18 January 2011: I don't necessarily think it's just about them thinking you are a kid, to me it sounds like it's about what does and doesnt' go on in your parents' house. Clearly your dad assumed the worst and jumped in at the deep end which was unfortunate and a ... (read in full...)
I got the "snip" and can't give my girlfriend children
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years. Before I met her I had been in a 10 year relationship, and during that time I had the 'snip' because my then girkfriend already had children and didnt want any more, and I thought we would...
A. 17 January 2011: Are you certain that you would have to pay to have this done? Have you taken medical advice on the chances of success? Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances regarding NHS treatment for this. It's not clear in your post if you've taken ... (read in full...)
Virgin at 22... thoughts?
Q. Hi Guys, so im just wondering what people think. I'm almost(!!) 22 and im still a virgin. I mean i have done fooling around with guys and i have had lots of boyfriends but i have never had sex with any of them. Im not sure what the issue is, im not...
A. 16 January 2011: No need to feel bad about it!
It sounds to me that, instead of you not knowing what the issue is, perhaps there isn't an issue. You've had bfs and fooled around- just because you haven't had sex is no bad thing at all and not a problem. As you s... (read in full...)
Pull out method... reliable enough???
Q. me and my boyfriend want to have sex, im not on the pill or anything and neither of us have got condoms. he said he could put it in then take it out when hes about to come, but i dont know if thats okay or not. what is the best thing to do?...
A. 16 January 2011: What genuine reason have you got for risking unprotected sex simply because you don't have condoms? Seriously....you know that you can get them for nothing from family planning clinics if you don't want to spend the money. Don't take the risk simply ... (read in full...)
My b/f got his "friend" pregnant -- how do I draw the line on how much visitation?
Q. Hi All - My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 1/2 years. When we began dating he was not completely honest with me and was still seeing other people during the first few months of our relationship (it was not completely exclusive) which ...
A. 15 January 2011: Hi OP I really feel for you to be in this awful situation. I understand what you are saying about things suddenly becoming complicated, through absolutely no fault of your own. My thoughts are that, to be honest, I think you should get out of this ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated, I asked him to leave, but his parents live with us
Q. im constantly finding text messages from girls and my husband sending them to girls last night he got home at 3 am and he had a message telling her it was nice meeting you beutiful i cant wait to see you again sat. i dont have a girlfriend or ...
A. 15 January 2011: Who owns/rents the house? This will have a large bearing on what you can do.... (read in full...)
He asked me out but didn't pay for the date?
Q. A guy that I know is interested in me (we've kissed) asked me to hang out (alone for the first time, also this is the beginning of our "friendship"), but he never paid for me even though he treated it as a date (kissed me again)...is that normal? I ...
A. 15 January 2011: I am not sure I like a man to always pay; I think going halves is reasonable. I would never go out with the expectation that someone is going to pay for my food/drink, and always expect to pay for my share. If he offered to pay for me then I might ... (read in full...)
Should I have a one-night stand to get pregnant as I really want a baby!
Q. Hi cupids. Im 18 now and id prefer if i werent prejudged but when i was 14 i fell pregnant to an older man who was abusing me for 2 years 12-14. When i fell pregnant i spoke to a lovely lady nurse about what had been happening and she helped me ...
A. 15 January 2011: Apart from all the other good points here, if you earn £1000 a month you are going to have a VERY hard time raising a child, unless you want the state/taxpayer to cough up for it of course. ... (read in full...)
My marriage proposal sucked! Should I let him do it again?
Q. SO I’m engaged but my proposal Sucked!!! he didn’t even decorate there was no romantic music and he knows that I love flowers and he didn’t even give me one!!! He used a beat up candle that was already used and I didn’t even get to dress up nor ...
A. 14 January 2011: My fiance proposed out of the blue; I was at home in the kitchen doing the washing up when he came in early from work. What was I wearing? Can't remember. Did he do it in a fancy way? No. But...he asked me to marry him. That was the big deal. Not ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me I was the best kisser she's ever kissed, when she asked me I told her she wasn't the worst!
Q. The other day my girlfriend and I were together, and we were happy and flirty as usual. Then she brought up that I was the best kisser out of any of the boyfriends she has had. Then she asked how she was, and when I thought about it in my head, I ...
A. 12 January 2011: Sadly when girls- and it usually is girls- ask this sort of question they are seeking only one answer- that they are the best you've ever had at whatever is the subject in hand, regardless of whether it is true or not. You gave an honest answer and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 3 months is away a lot in Army. is it a good idea to have a baby now?
Q. I'm 19 (20 at the end of 2011) I'm currently with my boyfriend who is 22 we have been together for 3 months and are living together (ano sounds crazy) he is in the army and is away a lot but recently we have decided to have a baby after a ...
A. 11 January 2011: I think it's a terrible idea; your immaturity and naivety is clearly manifest in the fact that you think this might be a good plan. There are many good answers here already. Please read them and carefully consider the points made by the aunts and ... (read in full...)
Have I missed the opportunity to resolve this argument?
Q. My boyfriend is on a business trip to Germany for 3 months while I am in the UK. We both took annual leave the week before he left and were supposed to go on holiday but didn’t manage to book anything. So we decided to spend time together where he ...
A. 11 January 2011: Has your bf given you any cause to distrust him with regards to his ex? Or is it all one sided? The fact that he is now open with emails from her seems like a good sign to me.
I don't understand why you would have been crying about this, frankly.... (read in full...)
Why is it okay for bigger women to bash slim women, but not the other way around?
Q. This is something I notice a lot, and I find it very insulting. I've always been slim, naturaly slim. I have never dieted or watched my weight and I'm a healthy size 8. It seems that if a slim girl is ever to speak bad of a fat girl, they are given ...
A. 11 January 2011: OP I know what you mean. I used to work in a clothes shop when I was at uni, and my boss and I were slim and fairly petite. Larger women used to come in and complain that we didn't have all that many clothes in what they called "real womens' sizes", ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend saved my life and is now handicapped. Should I stay with him?
Q. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 24. He is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It almost sounds unreal, but he saved my life about one month ago. He pushed me out of the way from getting hit by an oncoming car, but he was badly injured. Right now, ...
A. 27 December 2010: I think the crux of it is where you say your family want you to separate because "he'll no longer be able to take care of me". The fact that he is going through physio doesn't mean he has emotional or mental disabilities as a result of the ac... (read in full...)
Browsing the interent for a nice dress, any suggestions for sites?
Q. I have a day event with my bf in a few weeks and I'd like to find a nice dress to wear [day dress]. I live in UK and want to buy online. I have looked on asos.com but can anyone name any likewise websites that arent just online street shops. Thank ...
A. 27 December 2010: Yoox and net a porter are both pretty good. ... (read in full...)
Can having rough sex while pregnant harm the baby?
Q. Can having really rough sex while pregnant harm my baby? My boyfriend was rough last night to the point where he made me bleed. It only lasted a few minutes then stopped but im 5 and a half months pregnant and this has worried me. Its my first ...
A. 26 December 2010: You don't know who else to go to? How about your GP or midwife? I think you should definitely get checked out by a medical professional here. Bleeding during pregnancy should really be investigated. If nothing else they can advise you on whether y... (read in full...)
Lots of awful yellow headed spots down there? What to do?
Q. Well hi! I dont know who else to ask. It's quite embarrassing! For about 2 years now i've shaved my down below adea. Using a new razor every time and sensitive shaving gel! But i always go really itcky pretty much right away! I've noticed more too....
A. 24 December 2010: You should really consider waxing, it's definitely the best way to get a good and long lasting finish with these things. I do my own now and it's easy and cheap. You only need to worry about doing it once a month or so as long as you keep it tidy in ... (read in full...)
Who is being unreasonable here? I just want my baby to be safe and for my ex to be contactable if I need to speak to him!
Q. Hey guys, really hoping for some advice over child access. Basically, my ex and I no longer together. He used to see our son (7 months) every other weekend for the whole weekend and one day in the week. I have never denied him access. However,...
A. 7 December 2010: From what you have read your bf is perfectly contactable, only in a manner which you are not comfortable with. It's not like you cant't get in touch with him if necessary. You are an adult and a parent; his dad is rude to you, I'm afraid I have to ... (read in full...)
Ex girlfriend has been so cruel to me, should I give her another chance?
Q. My ex-girlfriends has... 1. Broke up with me more than 40 times in one year 2. Talk to her ex-boyfriend almost daily while in a relationship with me 3. Been physical agressive 4. shouted at me, at home and in the street 5. Put men in the hou...
A. 5 December 2010: Please don't give her another chance. If she really loved you she would never have done all those awful things to you. She doesn't deserve a second chance. With a past record like that I would be extremely surprised if she managed to leave all of ... (read in full...)
Me wearing makeup is going to break us up!
Q. my boyfriend recently told me that if i kept on wearing make up(a bit of foundation: not making myself orange, blush and mascara) he would break up with me. i dont like to not wear makeup because i dont feel confident without it on. i love him s...
A. 4 December 2010: A loving boyfriend would not put you in such a position to begin with. What a ridiculous ultimatum to give you.
It strikes me that he might be looking for a way to get out of the relationship without having the guts to do it properly. I don't th... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my teacher is in love with me?
Q. I'm in love with my teacher who is of the same sex and 15 years older than me. She pays alot of attention to me during school hours and outside school hours. She winks at me and grins at me alot and she talks to me in a different voice compared to ...
A. 30 November 2010: Thanks for the follow-up OP.
I'm sure if she really needs a one to one chat with you she could do it at school.
You're doing the right thing! Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my new partner want to see my ex wife's child when I raised him as my own for 8 years?
Q. i am wondering if any one can explain why my new partner doesnt want me to see my ex wifes child even though i bought him up for 8 years since was one and he is my sons half brother ? confused...
A. 30 November 2010: She is probably threatened by the bond you have not only with the child, but more importantly with your ex-wife, even if you are clearly no longer together. Those are parts of your life in which she has no involvement, it's all unknown territory to ... (read in full...)
Is there anything else we can use for protection that I wont be allergic to?
Q. hi ok ive been thinking about my first time a lot lately, my boyfriend is very patient and said whenever im ready its ok with him.. now one of the reasons i havnt is because im allergic to medicine specially cortizones and steroids, is there ...
A. 29 November 2010: Could you speak to your GP? Or do you have any family planning centres near to where you live? My local hospital and walk-in centre run family planning clinics which can offer the sort of advice you need.
I think if you need medical advice y... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my teacher is in love with me?
Q. I'm in love with my teacher who is of the same sex and 15 years older than me. She pays alot of attention to me during school hours and outside school hours. She winks at me and grins at me alot and she talks to me in a different voice compared to ...
A. 29 November 2010: I don't think it proves she has feelings for you. Plus, I would take what your friends have to say with a pinch of salt because in my experience some friends just like to stir things up a little bit.
I don't think you'll break her heart if you t... (read in full...)
What is a hmong?
Q. Okay well this isn't relating to relationships or nothing. I was just wondering how many people actually know what a Hmong is? Again I was just wondering how many people actually know....
A. 28 November 2010: Well Anne Fadiman's book "The wind catches you and you fall down" (which I would highly recommend), about a little Hmong girl called Lia Lee. I believe the Hmong are an East Asian ethnic group. Why do you want to know?... (read in full...)
Due to antibiotics, birth bill was inneffective, NOW I'm 2 months pregnant!!! How do I tell him?
Q. Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. We met in 7th grade but didn't start dating until a month before freshman year started. We're both nearly half way through our senior year now. We lost our virginities to each other on ju...
A. 27 November 2010: You're nearly 18, you're old enough to be having sex and therefore deal with the consequences of it.
What's the difficulty with telling your bf? Just sit him down and tell him, especially if you have been going out for several years. Yes it's big... (read in full...)
Abnormal acting teacher?
Q. I have this teacher and lately he's been acting abnormal towards me. I was staying after school and he came up to my desk in his chair and after he is done explain the concept of the question, he turned his head and looked at me, so i turned ...
A. 27 November 2010: Agree with Tante Vic; he was probably waiting for some sort of signal that you knew what he was talking about. I think the idea of "staring into each others' eyes" is probably a bit one sided. I'm sure he was looking at you, but I wouldn't call it ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my mother? I don't have the money to move out!
Q. my mother is driving me absolutely crazy... i used to think she was just lazy or didn't care but i'm convinced she's really passive aggressive and does stupid things on purpose to piss me the fuck off.. she'll eat and leave dishes in my room gets ...
A. 27 November 2010: You are an adult. The only thing you can do is move out.
Do you work? Can you get any extra hours or a weekend job as well? You just need to start working as hard as you can to save up the money to get your own place, even if you share with oth... (read in full...)
It feels like no matter what I do, I cant make my mom happy! Surely aged 20 I am allowed some freedom?
Q. I'm having issues with my mom. When I was younger, I was in a serious long distance relationship which in turn made me a hermit almost all throughout high school. Eventually, I moved to be with him and I was still a hermit due to the fact that I had ...
A. 26 November 2010: PS. I think it is a bit rich/melodramatic of you to say your mother is denying your "freedom and rights as an adult" if you still live in her house and are no longer a child. You need to look at the bigger picture a bit I think.... (read in full...)
It feels like no matter what I do, I cant make my mom happy! Surely aged 20 I am allowed some freedom?
Q. I'm having issues with my mom. When I was younger, I was in a serious long distance relationship which in turn made me a hermit almost all throughout high school. Eventually, I moved to be with him and I was still a hermit due to the fact that I had ...
A. 26 November 2010: I think we need more details about what you do.
You say you don't like sitting around the house all day and all night being lazy- that's fair enough. But are you actually free everyday?
Do you work and contribute to the bills/running of... (read in full...)
We have an open relationship, but how do I go about explaining to him that I'm not comfortable with this one girl?
Q. My partner and I have been together for three and a half years, and have been living together for one and a half of those years. We've recently both been feeling quite trapped (he more so than I, admittedly), so we've decided to try out an open ...
A. 26 November 2010: I'm afraid that it seems to me as though having an open relationship means that he has the best of both worlds, where you end up having a part time boyfriend. He has a gf for when he wants, but gets to have sex with whoever he wants as well, all ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for not wanting to go round to his mother's house once he moves out?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for two years and a year ago he had to move back in with his mum due to financial difficulty (he's 39 and his mum's 55). it has been a year from hell! when i first met her i was going round for dinner with him twice a ...
A. 26 November 2010: I'm afraid this relationship seems doomed from the start to me and I am at a complete loss as to why you are still with this guy.
I would also point out some things though
1)He moves into his mum's house, he lives by her rules, no matter how ol... (read in full...)
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