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*attista

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I love my girlfriend but she's too fat. How do I break up?

Q.   me and my gf got together about 3 years ago. we both weighed 17 stone. we had a good relationship but in the last 12 months we said we would go on a diet. Now i weight 13 stone. she however weighs 18 and 1/2 stone. i am attracting the attention of ...

A.   14 April 2011: You could just tell her that it's not working any more. I think if you told her you don't want to go out any more because she's overweight that would be a major confidence wrecker and it also turns you into the villain of the peace. Don't mention ... (read in full...)

B/f was lying to me and meeting a girl

Q.   I can't stop feeling jealous when my boyfriend speaks to other girls. I've been with him for over a year now and although I don't like to throw the word love around I'm happy to say I don't want to be leaving him for a very long time :) The problem ...

A.   14 April 2011: Hey OP I'm sorry about this situation. I've got to say, though, that in my opinion your mum is spot on. At first he was keen to please, but now you say yourself that you don't want to be leaving him for a long time, even though he is making you un... (read in full...)

Advice on dieting and losing weight?

Q.   Hey, Well im 14 and im quite fat. ive had some serious issues with wieght and my looks in the past i have been bullied because of them and alot of the time ive been made to feel like im the one who just doesnt fit in. ive develope...

A.   14 April 2011: I'm sorry to hear your problem OP. Don't go for diet pills. Apart from the fact that you are too young, they won't solve the problem. To lose weight you usually need to change your behaviour somehow, which means taking up more exercise or changing... (read in full...)

My fiance's double-standard about being friends with exes makes me want to break up with him

Q.   Hi Everyone, So, my fiance, who I've been with for over two years now, asked me very early on in our relationship to stop being friends with my ex because it made him uncomfortable. He not only asked me to delete him from facebook, but to stop all...

A.   12 April 2011: Have you told him how you feel? This is the first thing to do.... (read in full...)

My brother tried to kill himself over a girl, and because of that I refuse to talk to her now. Am I wrong?

Q.   hi aunts and uncles, i really need some advice. I'll start from the beginning. About four years ago my brother got together with a girl and they went out for ages and they started to argue. A lot went on and they split up after about two years....

A.   12 April 2011: I am also very close to my brother and would be devastated if something happened to him, so I appreciate that this is very hard for you to deal with. It isn't this girl's fault that your brother tried to kill himself. To say she's the girl who... (read in full...)

What do I do about a bf who doesn't listen to me, respect me or do anything I want to do?

Q.   I have a bf--i think....well, we have been fighting heaps and he has been treating me like crap, doesn't do anything i ask. Anything i do he rejects...... I have done everything for him. Hell, i gave him a threesome with another chick....he doesn't ...

A.   12 April 2011: Is there anything positive about the relationship? I would leave him. If he has no respect for you then you should move on and find someone who does.... (read in full...)

Fallen for my doctor - if I tell him how I feel, what would be the consequences?

Q.   I’ve been this doctor’s patient for about 10 months now.i see him every 2 month. i’m in my early 20's. For all these months, I never showed my feelings to him. I never even asked him about his personal life other than medical-related questions(I ...

A.   11 April 2011: Doctors are not allowed to be in relationships with patients. There was a case in this country last year where a woman accused her OB of making moves on her and took him to court; it transpired that she had been chasing him and he had continua... (read in full...)

Girlfriend says I need to give her more space. I am not sure what it means for our relationship?

Q.   I'm feeling really down at the moment. I was getting to know a really wonderful girl, and then the last two months things have gone from talking daily, to it appearing like me texting her is a nuisance. She told me we need not speak daily, tha...

A.   10 April 2011: Hi OP You've already had some excellent advice here. I will just chime in with my two cents. My ex was similar to your gf in that he wanted quite a lot of space. He didn't call or text much, and to be honest he ended up holding all the cards re... (read in full...)

Any advice on how to play it cool and get this stubborn boy to realise he has an amazing girlfriend?

Q.   Me and my bf are a big on-off couple. Its always him that breaks it off with me and leaves me heartbroken and I always feel like the idiot. He so stubborn, and when we have a serious argument he runs. We had a big argument the other week and H...

A.   10 April 2011: Firstly, you CAN be without him. It won't be fun or easy at first but you can manage on your own. Don't think that you won't be strong enough. Secondly, if he doesn't want to be with you then you can't force him to think otherwise I'm afraid. If h... (read in full...)

I'm having loads of trouble finding an attractive, intelligent girlfriend!

Q.   I need some advice on how to find a decent girlfriend. I'm a really good looking, athletic guy. I'm a combat veteran, university graduate, and have a well paying corporate job for someone my age (23.) I will be a homeowner in less than 2 year...

A.   10 April 2011: OP thanks for your follow up. It's very helpful actually and gives us a better insight into what you're asking. I personally don't think that there is anything wrong with talking to girls at sports clubs or the gym; I think it is perfectly possib... (read in full...)

I'm having loads of trouble finding an attractive, intelligent girlfriend!

Q.   I need some advice on how to find a decent girlfriend. I'm a really good looking, athletic guy. I'm a combat veteran, university graduate, and have a well paying corporate job for someone my age (23.) I will be a homeowner in less than 2 year...

A.   9 April 2011: Dmartin89's answer is excellent! I would add to it that people of the sort you are looking for usually have their own good networks of friends, and attract the same sort of people on the whole. I know plenty of young, successful, attractive and H... (read in full...)

His parents walked in on us having sex and his mother looks at me like I'm not good enough for him now

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 1 and a half years and we have been having sex for about 4 months. So one day I was round his house and as his parents were out and we thought we would have sex. But in the middle of it his ...

A.   9 April 2011: Did they walk into your bf's bedroom and see you two, or were you in a communal space? I can't tell from your post. ... (read in full...)

A Greek mythological name for my daughter?

Q.   I am 7 months pregnant with a little girl and im having a really hard time finding a name for her since i dont like traditional names much im looking for unique names does anyone have any suggestions. I love greek mythology and dark beautiful names ...

A.   8 April 2011: Hi OP I love classical names and am planning some for my own children. I would just like to be boring though and chime in with a word of warning. I think it is important to look- at least a bit- at the figures behind some of these names, as quite ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and his sons always pick on my mentally handicapped son

Q.   I have a boy friend whom has 2 boys.. I have 3 young children my self... My boyfriend hates my oldest son and him and his boys always yells at my son and picks on him cause hes mentally hanidcap... What do i do ? Do i leave my boyfriend?...

A.   7 April 2011: You have to put your son first. If this means leaving your boyfriend then so be it. If your son has a disability he needs as much support as he can get, not somebody putting him down while his mother lets them get away with it. Have you spoken to ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend can't stay hard during sex and it’s upsetting me? Does anyone know why? Need advice!

Q.   My boyfriend can’t stay hard when it comes to sex. I accidentally fell pregnant with his baby, but never knew at the time he was on Viagra, which he has now run out of. I never noticed he had a problem until now. He tells me it’s not me and that it ...

A.   7 April 2011: There could be many reasons for this. One thing that strikes me from your post is that he is subconsciously worried about sex following the accidental pregnancy. I know now you are pregnant it isn't a concern any longer, but deep down it might we... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said to his friend he is not attracted to me and I have a fat ass!

Q.   Found conversations between my bf and a friend of his. He was telling her how he really likes me and that i am one of the nicest people out. But he hates my ass. He thinks it is fat and is not attracted to it. He is horny as fuck but doesnt even ...

A.   6 April 2011: He says he doesn't want to dump you. Do you want to dump him? I am guessing not. If you are not going to end the relationship and want to see how things turn out, why don't you take a positive step and start exercising and eating healthily. This ... (read in full...)

He can't keep up with me sexually, should he get his testosterone checked?

Q.   how do I ask my man to go to the doctors and get his testosterone level checked? I feel like this is the problem he is having sexually he is only 28 but he is really having a hard time. We are still fairly young I am 23 and like I said he is 28, I ...

A.   6 April 2011: If it was me, if I had people living with us who were always- obviously seemingly- having sex, to be honest it would put me off a bit. If room mates are so aware of each others' sex lives then perhaps this is a bit of a turn off for your bf as it ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend cheated on me and I can't get over it

Q.   My girlfriend cheated on me months back and I can't seem to get over it. We were living together and things had started getting really rocky. We were fighting bitterly all day every day. I felt her distance herself from me, and rather than give...

A.   5 April 2011: You need to leave this girl OP. I know ho hard it is, but in the circumstances it is really the best thing you can do. You don't deserve this, it isn't your fault, and your are clearly unhappy. She isn't going to change. You need to make the move... (read in full...)

Husband hates me wearing a bra...

Q.   I am a 31 year old woman and a newlywed school teacher. My husband teaches at the same school. My situation is that my husband does not like me to wear a bra. At nights and on weekends, he does not want to see me in a bra. During the entire ...

A.   4 April 2011: For me, the question is whether YOU want to go without a bra. I have to say that I would imagine the effects of not wearing a bra would probably not become evident for a while yet, so I would fear you might be storing up trouble for the future if ... (read in full...)

Why do all women shave down there?

Q.   Why do all women, or almost all women shave down below? I read somewhere here on DC that even girls as young as 14 are doing this!...

A.   4 April 2011: I wouldn't think that all or almost all women do. Perhaps there is a bias towards it on dear cupid by nature of the site. Many women like to keep things tidy. There is no harm in personal grooming like this. 14 year olds may well want to keep thi... (read in full...)

I'm witholding sex from him to show him how angry I am about our sex life and him watching porn!

Q.   Hello Well, I'm going to admit this on DC because I don't think I can say it out loud. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He looks at porn pretty much every time I leave the house. I know because the history on his computer is alwa...

A.   29 March 2011: OP if you are unhappy about the porn then you don't need to force yourself to believe that it's "OK." You can have your own ideas about it. I am no surprised you are unhappy if your sex life has gone downhill but he is looking at a lot of porn. ... (read in full...)

The constant emotional abuse from my parents has led me to project their negativity against my B/f into my relationship, which I'v now almost ruined. How can I repair the damage?

Q.   Hi all, I've been with my boyfriend for nine years now and over that time, I've become increasingly frustrated with the fact we haven't moved in together in all these years. I'm in my mid-late twenties and still live at home with my parents....

A.   29 March 2011: Hi OP You seem to have a good insight into your problems and I'm glad you want to take some action. I'm sorry you have found yourself in this position, but I am glad that you have had a bit of a wake up call. Why don't you move out of your pare... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cant please me in bed!

Q.   Ok here's the deal.... Me and my man has a great relationship together except when it comes to being in the bedroom....we have sex about 5 times a week (trying for a baby) but the thing is we never have sex at night in fact he never even comes to...

A.   29 March 2011: Maybe he is feeling like sex is a means to an end, ie. having a baby. This can really take the fun out of things. Maybe he feels under pressure to get you pregnant, and, even though he might of course want to do that, it can make sex feel a bit ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend likes to have hands inside herself when relaxing and then her smell is on everything!

Q.   OK, I've been dating the same girl for 4+ years and we're engaged to get married soon. She had a strange habit, which I'm not really sure the cause or reason. She likes to have her hands in her pants, on her vagina while she is sitting on the lazy ...

A.   26 March 2011: Hi OP thanks for the update! You know what, for me, that would be a deal breaker, for a couple of reasons. I just want to say that I work in a hospital where hand washing is extremely important- and for good reason as well.This is why I may see... (read in full...)

Girlfriend likes to have hands inside herself when relaxing and then her smell is on everything!

Q.   OK, I've been dating the same girl for 4+ years and we're engaged to get married soon. She had a strange habit, which I'm not really sure the cause or reason. She likes to have her hands in her pants, on her vagina while she is sitting on the lazy ...

A.   26 March 2011: ....hi OP just an addendum to my answer. Apart from the good advice about seeing a doctor, I think your main plan of attack could be along the hygeine route, rather than the smell, perhaps. She may say that men touch themselves all the time, ho... (read in full...)

Girlfriend likes to have hands inside herself when relaxing and then her smell is on everything!

Q.   OK, I've been dating the same girl for 4+ years and we're engaged to get married soon. She had a strange habit, which I'm not really sure the cause or reason. She likes to have her hands in her pants, on her vagina while she is sitting on the lazy ...

A.   26 March 2011: I am with you on this one OP. Apart from the smell that is really unhygienic. Just because she says guys are always touching themselves doesn't make it a pleasant thing to do if others find it uncomfortable for whatever reason. I would also add t... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is controlling

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. 3 months into our relationship he asked if i had been texting boys, he then took my phone and seen 5 boys on my recent contacts that i had been texting but i had deleted the sent and inbox messages, ...

A.   26 March 2011: Without doubt you should leave him. He is treating you unacceptably and you need to realise that you deserve better. Please move out and get this man out of your life; you will be far better off without him. ... (read in full...)

If he really loved me...why did he travel so far away from me?

Q.   A man that I have been seeing for over 3 months has just gone overseas for between 6-9 months. The night that I met him he told me that he was going away in March so I have known the whole time that we have been seeing each other that he was going. ...

A.   23 March 2011: I think telling him to grow up is unfair, and also unwarranted. Just because you do not feel the same way about what he's up to there's no need be insulting about it. People can choose to go travelling whenever is the right time to for them- age... (read in full...)

I broke up with him, but like his younger brother. Should I now tell the younger brother I like him better?

Q.   Last year, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months because I felt that he was too clingy and needy, stupid reasons I know, but when he got another gf, I had a freak out. We got back together (kind of) and have been really close, but when we firs...

A.   23 March 2011: If you are beginning to like the younger brother more then you shouldn't keep stringing your boyfriend along. The fact that you only got back together because he found someone else speaks volumes to me. My advice would be to break it off with your... (read in full...)

I'd like to cook my b/f something nice. Any suggestions?

Q.   hello everyone in 2 weeks time my boyfriends parents are going away for the week, were together 1 and a half years now and i've never really cooked anything special for him, well while his parents are away i want to cook him something really nice. h...

A.   22 March 2011: http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/ Always 100s of great ideas on there. If you want something romantic try this bit: http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/occasions/valentines_day ... (read in full...)

Help me be more indepenent!!

Q.   I am in a relationship of two and a half years. I love my boyfriend, but I need to start being more independent. I don't have many friends, mostly because I just don't have time to socialize with school being a big priority. I am also a bit soci...

A.   17 March 2011: What do you study? Are you working as well? I have also done a postgrad degree, which I am guessing is what you might be doing, and there were always plenty of talks/groups having meetings, which are almost always followed by drinks or coffee. Thes... (read in full...)

I dumped her 8 times and now I'm fuming that she has found new love?? Any thoughts??

Q.   Last year I casually dated a girl on an off for 10 months. She fell head over heals in love with me and worshiped the ground that I walked on. LSS I took her kindness for a weakness and abused the hell out of her and dumped her for the 8th time in ...

A.   15 March 2011: Hmmm, but surely the way you treated her means you never loved her either? How can you "abuse the hell" out of someone and claim to love them. The problem is here is that you are jealous. You have treated her like crap and she kept coming back for... (read in full...)

My family life is beyond miserable!

Q.   Hi, so im 20 years old, and my family life is beyond miserable. at age 13 i learned my mom was cheating on my dad, so i told him thinking it was the best idea. It wasn't, instead he started to rape me and use me sexually as a way to get back at ...

A.   15 March 2011: OP no one is going to judge you when you tell them what has happened; that will be the last thing on peoples' minds. They will want to help and protect you, especially your boyfriend. The police should also be able to offer you support, as would ... (read in full...)

I'm like a jealous and insecure mess and I hate it yet it wont go away.

Q.   I have issues!!!! Im incredibly insecure and I wish I wasnt...I dont know what to do! Thing is I know they are based on my weight, im not a skinny girl but im not exactly obese either but nontheless im overweight, but my bf likes girls with meat ...

A.   13 March 2011: You yourself realise that you have a problem and that is a good start. I think maybe you should try and get some counselling for your jealousy/low self esteem issues. The problem is that you are going to drive your bf away by behaving like th... (read in full...)

I've spent the last 5 years being single with the occasional encounter now and again with men who seem to like me initially but when it comes to bedroom antics, it goes horribly wrong.

Q.   I met this lovely guy who is lives with my good friend. I got the feeling he liked me and he told me when my friend's back was turned that he clicked with me and that I must come to a party that was being held at their house. Last night I g...

A.   13 March 2011: Well, from your OP I cannot see any reason why he would have been turned off by your body. It does, to me at least, seem abundantly clear that he was probably really turned off by the fact that you were "slaughetered" as you say, and seemingly yo... (read in full...)

I'm having body issues and I don't know how to control them!

Q.   I have got so much great advice on this website, I don't feel very uncomfortable asking this. I have a minor issue to overcome, I get 'over excited' at nothing which leads me to be insecure. I'm currently getting to know a lady better, when eve...

A.   8 March 2011: This is a natural reaction and most sensible women will appreciate that fact. It's your physiology. I don't think most women would be too worried by it, if at all. If you are really concerned you could try masturbating before you know you are going ... (read in full...)

I'm scared of being naked.

Q.   I want to feel beautiful and desirable? But I hate my body so desperately, I find it very hard to get into exercise and hard to give up the foods I want, even though I don't eat that much of them, and have cut down a lot as well. I don't drink or...

A.   7 March 2011: OP you don't need to worry about this. I'm sure you are your harshest critic. If you aren't happy with the way you look you are the only one who can change that. Yes it is hard to get into exercise and stop eating unhealthy foods, but it's not... (read in full...)

I dumped him because I wanted more committment from him...but now I want him back!

Q.   I dated a guy for about 7 months and he ended things about a month ago. I wanted more of a commitment from him and unfortunately he wasn't able to give it to me because he wanted to focus on his career. Now I really miss him and I want him back. ...

A.   7 March 2011: It's natural to feel bad when a relationship ends, but that doesn't change the fact that you wanted different things. That wouldn't be resolved by getting back together, and your ex knows that. He is being sensible. You did the right thing by... (read in full...)

I got pregnant from a one night stand. Can I pass this baby off as my boyfriend's?

Q.   I've been in a serious relationship for the past 2 and a half years with my Algerian boyfriend except for the last 8 months I’ve been living with my mother in a different country . Of course things haven’t been going too well for us since we’ve ...

A.   7 March 2011: Do you think it's fair to lie to your baby for its entire life? You have to weigh up what's more important to you, lieing to your bf and your baby for the rest of their lives and making sure your bf doesn't find out, or allowing your baby to know ... (read in full...)

I want to be someone worth loving, not a maid! Is this going to change? When will I just say enough is enough?

Q.   I’ve been living with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now, together over 3 and he is still dependent on everyone else. He doesn't pay any bills (if it’s mentioned he says he'll only pay for his own food), he has his mother do his wash, but ...

A.   7 March 2011: I don't see this changing. You bf has it easy. His mu pays for stuff, and it sounds like you organise everything else. I cant' see any incentive for him to change. You need to get out of this situation and get on with living your life, not just... (read in full...)

My fiance wants to go to a girl's party without me

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm seeking some advice because I am so hurt right now I want to know if i'm right or wrong here. Basically I live with my partner of 4 years and we love each other and I do so much for him and him me likewise, he has travelled qu...

A.   7 March 2011: Thanks for update OP. You now mention dozens of pretty uni girls. Do you think your bf is going to cheat on you7 And do you trust him fully or not?... (read in full...)

My fiance wants to go to a girl's party without me

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm seeking some advice because I am so hurt right now I want to know if i'm right or wrong here. Basically I live with my partner of 4 years and we love each other and I do so much for him and him me likewise, he has travelled qu...

A.   5 March 2011: OP it worries me that one of your complaints about not being able to go was "how am I going to meet new people when he won't invite me places." You can't rely on your bf to give you opportunities to meet people. Don't you do anything on your... (read in full...)

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