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Your opinions on breaking up over the phone.....

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 June 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My ex of 4 month dumped me over the phone. In fact she almost did it over text, but I called her before that happened. Now I have no thoughts of even attempting to get her back, for the reason that I'm mad at her. Is it acceptable to be mad at her actions? In my opinion breaking up over the phone is very inconsiderate about my feelings, cowardly, immature and extremely rude. I know she cried in her car for 10 minutes the first time she broke up with me face to face, (I was naive she would actually try and rebuild our relationship after the 1st breakup) but that's not having the decency to say it face to face and deal with the consequences. "Running away" from all problems once again. I believe that if she had enough respect to date me, she should have had enough respect with finishing me. What are y'alls opinion on breaking up over the phone?

View related questions: broke up, immature, text

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (3 June 2011):

angelDlite agony auntno, phone is fine i think. face to face just makes it a more long and difficult process. dumping or being dumped is never an nice experience anyway so why should being face to face make it feel any better? i do think that text/email/facebook dumping is another matter though. only a real reptile would do it that way

hugs to you OP, i hope you feel better soon

x

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A female reader, marie.d Ireland +, writes (2 June 2011):

my boyfriend of 9 months broke up wit me 2 weeks ago by txt.. we were friends 5 yrs too.. disrepectful and cowardness is all tat is.. told me he did it by txt because it was hurtful enuff but yet still wnt explain himself.. 5 yrs of friendship n 9months of a realationship gone!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

@everyone: Thank you for your responses and individual opinions!

I know my job is to move on, I've blocked her from my fb, and so glad I'm going off to college next year so I won't have to see her face for sometime. I just want to forget it all and I've stopped all contact from her. However I feel like a coward to just run away without saying anything more..

@anon/kirra07: I see your point how it depends on the circumstances and how there are other sides to it. But I'm more mad at myself for telling her "Don't worry, I'm not mad at you" or "I'm fine." It sucks being that "Nice Guy," because I really cared about her feelings more so than myself. I removed her "guilt" of breaking up with me. I want to let her know what a disrespectful person she was to me, to tell her how I really feel, but I do not want to speak to her and move on with my life. Then again, I want to release all this steam in my head..

@deirdre11: Thank you, I really do feel as if the relationship never meant anything to her in the first place. I think it's a bit too late for me to not be bitter. I mean I'm nice to all my other friends, but when it comes to her, I just get real upset, resentful, and heartbroken.

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (2 June 2011):

I think it's very disrespectful to break up over the phone. The only way I think it's a good idea or at least the least bad option is:

a) if the person is abusive and you just want to inform them that it's over, stay away, there's a restraining order (because it's dangerous to do that in person possibly)

or

b) if it is a LDR where it's so far that it really isn't all that feasible to do it face to face

Otherwise, breaking up over the phone (or text or msn) is cowardly.

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A female reader, Inspiration! United Kingdom +, writes (2 June 2011):

I think that breaking up with someone over the phone is totally dispicable, and it really shows a lack of respect for your past together. I think that you should totally get over this girl, as she is evidently not worth it! Good luck finding the right girl/guy for you! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011):

I think its nasty if you are in a relationship with someone to break up over the phone. I would totally understand your anger at this. It would feel as if the relationship never mean't anything to her in the first place.

She is obviously just imature and cannot handle confrontation, But that is her problem, not yours and if you were to get back with her this behaviour would remain the same.

We all know breaking up with somebody is such a difficult thing to do, and you try to consider the other persons feelings to minimise the hurt, but she could not do this because she was so absorbed in her own feelings of trying to break up with you that she was selfish and decided it would be easier for her if she did it over the phone, not considering you at all.

You have every right to be angry, but you need to forget about her, put it behind you and move on. Do not allow her behaviour to make you bitter. Yes be angry for awhile, but then move on.

Good Luck.x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011):

It all depends on the circumstances. Although i do agree that you have a right to be angry at her as she does seem childish.

However i dumped my ex a few weeks ago by phone after finding pictures,emails, and hotel reservations which proved he was cheating- i did it by phone as i didnt want to hear his lame excuses!

For that reason i think it all depends on the reasons for the break up. If it was simply that your girlfriend wanted out for her own reasons then yes you have every right to be angry. Let her know what a disrespectful person she has been and make it known you are moving on WITHOUT her!

Good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011):

Well, many people break up over the phone, texts even messaged on fb. Many do it because they don't wanna face their bf|gf, nervousness, they can be guilty etc. But its mostly because they don't wanna face you.

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