A
female
age
41-50,
*ovelylady1
writes:OP's own title.Hi this may be some what long and may not happen often but I have to ask you guys how do you feel about the situation im going to talk about. First of I got married to my childhood love at the age of 18. He was my world and had dreams that we would grow old together. I felt like I had the American dream. Beautiful children, he was loving, we got along perfect. Until one day about a year ago which put us 9 years into this marriage. We got into a fight while I was pregnant because of a condom I found that belong to him. He left because the court put out a no contact order for him. After a fews days I wanted him to come back home and try to work things out but he refused no matter what I try to do to make up with him he refused and told me that he loved me but marriage was for the birds. As you know I was going through it but he promised to come back home after I delivered the baby. He did but every night he slept at the bottom of the bed, went to work came home for about two hours left and always came back around 4 a.m. I could not take this but I kept praying. Eventually he left again and I kept begging him to come and help me with the children and be with his family. He would not, after 9 months I found out that he was sleeping with a man. I was torn. After I found out his long distance Uncle came along and started supported me and my children financially, and emotionally. After a few months of being around his uncle the unthinkable happen, he came on to me and I gave into him. At the time I was so angry I really didnt care but til this day I am still with his uncle. What should I do? I have a great relationship with the uncle, he treats my children wonderful but I know that this was something I should not have done but it seems to be so hard for me to get out of the relationship.
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condom, long distance Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (1 August 2010):
 It's not like you left your husband for his uncle or carried on an affair behind your husband's back, so I think you shouldn't feel too guilty about this relationship. Someone stepped up and took care of you, it just happens that this person is related to your ex; for all you know, God ordered your steps when he brought someone into your life who is good to you and your kids. BTW, how does your ex feel about this relationship?
If you feel you need a break from this situation because you're emotionally overwhelmed, that's a smart choice, but don't end a good thing because you're worried about what the in-laws.
A
female
reader, lovelylady1 +, writes (31 July 2010):
lovelylady1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all of your reply's and Soul4real I understand what your saying although he is great to me and my children I still have some guilt and a little shame for being with a family member. This is something I said I would never ever do in my life. It sometimes feels like I am missing out on things that I could be enjoying if it was not a family member of my ex-husband such as being around his family. That could never happen because it would continuously be brought up, even though it's his uncle on his father side and that family is not close with his mom's family, their are still lot's of disagreements. I love myself and my children so much and want to be happy. I have prayed about this situation and ask god to order my steps. I ask that he take this man out of my life if this is not the way he wants me to go. I just don't know what to do, I have told him that I want to move on but it's like I can't shake him. I think the only thing that keeps me here is the love that he gives my children and myself. I am praying for peace and happiness in my life. I think that the hurt and the storm I have been through with my ex-husband has cause me to be a little bitter and some mental imbalance. Not saying that I am insane but I feel as if I am on an emotional roller coaster some days I want to take me and my children and distance us from everyone. I really think that letting go will set me free because at times I am uncomfortable with being with him. I know that when things are not right in your life sometimes god will cause ur situation to become uncomfortable. Thank you guys so much for all of the reply's I needed to hear all of the responses.
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A
female
reader, VenaCava  +, writes (31 July 2010):
 Let your husband go.
He seems lose interest on his family already, and there is nothing you can do to get him back.
I can only imagine the tremendous stress you’ve been through, taking care of kids alone and trying to heal the heartache.
You’ve done all you can lady. You’ve begged, you’ve given him chances, you’ve prayed. It’s time to move on.
Be a happy mother.
I will not comment on your relationship with his uncle, because that man is actually doing what your husband’s supposed to do. Don’t worry if your children becoming closer to him rather than to their biological father. Make this uncle the father figure for your children.
Concentrate to your children; spend lots of time under the sun in a park with them. Hopefully their laughter and the soft touch of the sunlight can little by little easing your pain.
XXXXX
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (28 July 2010):
 Your husband left you twice now, has been cheating on you for a considerable time, has refused to meet you half way as you fight for the marriage and family, and now appears to be more interested in men altogether. He's made his choice. You tried and fought and begged and worked to save the marriage, but after a year or two, he's made his choice. Do what you have to do for your family and yourself. Take care of your own happiness and that of your children. Everything else is secondary to that, including who your new man might be.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (28 July 2010):
Your husband prefers to sleep with men, so there's no chance of saving your marriage. The only thing for you to now is get a divorce. If you have a good relationship with this man and he is good to your kids, I don't see why you need to end this relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): as a woman who has been through this type of thing i say do what right for you and what you want go for it
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