A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Depressed, cant sleep, cant concentrate and mind racing in constant circles.I recently moved out of my fathers, due to his alcohol consumption and violent actions whilst drunk. Have now got no fixed address, am moving between boyfrds mum and dads houses. Got houses to look at today its 1.15am and i am just sitting here, keep thinking i miss my dad, i want to go back. I dont want to cop abuse no more. I just love my father he can be the best dad ever when not drinking, but also the biggest jerk when he is.Also since me and J moved out we havnt argued, like we were when at my dads.I want my independance but i just keep stewing and its taking a huge toll. I have lived with my father since 12years old, when my mum beat me up i moved in dads same night. I had a appointment yesterday for l.a.f.h.a and crisis payments, and that was torture in its self as centrelink had to know why i cant live with my parents and we talked about my childhood, seeing my mum attempt suicide as i walk in her room to hug her good night when i was 11 and other stuff i wont type because i am already in tears. I cant cope with the stress and i just hope j and i getting a house will change the way i feel and help me realise its time to be an adult and stop expecting dad to be there every time i fall. It hurts so bad and i want to be strong but its hard. I just need some supporting advice from anyone who has been in a situation like this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): You have only become an adult recently. It may take time to be totally independent. We are all not same when it comes to mental strength. I have a very weak mind. I cant be totally independent. It is heartbreaking to know how alcohol can turn a good man into a bad one and affect his loved ones. I wish your dad can understand it. But keep in mind that there are numerous ways to get help. In a free world like ours, there will always be help somewhere. Dont lose hope.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): HiYou are very brave and sensible...and yes alcoholics when sober are lovable but we all know the other side...up down up down...you will feel confused and unsettled. The trick is REMOVE yourself from the person who makes you feel bad. Alcoholics have an illness and sadly it is like poison to those around. Stay strong BUT now you must focus on you and what is good for you. Your father can only help himself you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for him. Your stress levels are high right now UNDERSTANDABLE...plus all the past haunts you. Start fresh and understand YOU are not at fault with anything past or present...nor should any form of guilt hold you captive now. I do understand and you must seriously live for you! now and recognise your dad is ill...but you do not want to be ill as well so don't think you can help him because you can not, hopefully one day he will help himself. Stay in contact but try just over the phone or emails ...you have a whole life ahead of you and i am sure within your fathers heart he would want you to sucseed in life. This may well help him and yes it sounds like you were probably the one who picked both mum and dad up...This disables them, let them work their own life out and you MY FREIND STAY STRONG...LET PAST STAY WHERE IT BELONGS..LOOK FORWARD TO A BRIGHT FUTURE AND LIVE YOUR DREAMS..START LAUGHING START SMILING START A NEW FUTURE...NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON LIFE AND LOVE. I wish you so much luck and know you will stay strong but FOR YOU this time.via con dios x
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