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female
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anonymous
writes: Can a woman "fight for(not physically)" a man if she truly believes in the integrity of their relationship and the genuine feelings they have, regardless of his situation? Men always "fight for" the women they want, so what if the situation is reversed and what if the man is already in a relationship? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): Anyone who can be happy and want to see another fail in their relationship is not a very good, honest, trustworthy, realiable individual-is this you?
I think we need to step back from your own personal feelings and re-think this whole situation.
If this man has confided to you that he is unhappy, unsure, feels unloved...he has already had an emotional affair with you; this is still cheating.
Of course you think he is such a sweet, unappreciated man...that is the role he put you in...the sympathetic ear that he so needs and craves. *Rollseyes*
I think telling him that you understand his need for a friend but he needs to work out his issues with his girlfriend/wife first.
He needs to make an adult, accountable, responsible decision for himself; don't interfere.
To do so now, you rob him and you of some truth.
Back off.
Has he told you he loves and cares for you or does he only come to for a "shoulder to cry on"?
Honey, any man or woman should do their outmost for the woman/man they love...this man is not yours and therefore... you can not lay claim to the "would do anything for the one they love".
Do not mistake crush for love.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2006): Why don't you just leave him alone and find your own man? Breaking up someone else's relationship is wrong. Also, if you can steal him away from her, then why wouldn't someone else be able to steal him away from you? If you manage to break them up, you know that he's obviously not a very faithful person.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 Ultimately, the other person (be it man or woman) has to choose you, right? So "fighting" for a person's attentions really makes no difference.
You could fight and bully and cajole and wheedle and needle and meddle until the cows come home, but if that other person doesn't actually want YOU more than he (or she) wants the person they're with, your efforts are going to be in vain.
At the end of the day, there is no ~one~ person for every other person. There may be millions of potential matches... or none at all. Isn't it really better to live a nice, calm life and let the other person choose to be with you, or not?
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A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (14 August 2006):
 Hey there,
I fought long and hard for 2 years for my man, but you have to have an air of subtelty about how you go about it otherwise you will scare/drive him away.
If the man in question is already in a relationship, then the only way 'in' is to become friends with him and hopefully let something naturally develop on its own - you can't force him to like you or have genuine feelings for you if his efforts are directed towards someone else, but you can always be a good mate to him and see what happens.
Gone are the days where men only fight for the woman they love. If you want anything in life you have to work hard at it and sometimes you do have to push and fight to get where you want to go or for what you want to get, but sometimes if you push something too hard you can end up breaking it or pushing it away. So just be careful in how you portray yourself and what actions you take in 'fighting' for this man. xxx
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