A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Recently my husband and I have been having issues. He completely ignores me and only has mean things to say to me when he speaks unless we are doing ok. He does not talk things out to work them out with me. I let him throw his fit for a few days, me being pleasant 100% of the time. Today I asked him if we could have a night alone together to make each other feel better again and he agreed. So i arranged for my mother to keep my son over night. I called him on my break from work to talk and i was excited about our plans. He started going off on me about how this is not about sex to him and he doenst feel wanted any more. I told him i only feel wanted when i give him sex, it seems to be the only thing that keeps him happy for an extended amount of time. So to him this is not about sex, he asked me what we should do tonight (not in a nice way) and i suggested a movie, dinner, then desert, or just stay in and be alone. He got upset saying he doesnt want to anymore and then randomly said he read something today that said "you can tell how people will have sex by the way they dance". He always complains about my not dancing with him. He told me at our Junior Homecoming that i am the worst dancer he has ever been with. So i dont really want to dance with him, he always criticizes when i try. So he pretty much told me my sex sucks since my dancing sucks right? So if our issues are not about sex why did he throw this in my face? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 hi
the difficulty with these posts is that we only have your side of the story, but from what you say he sounds nasty, immature, doesn't want to make the effort any more, is irritated by you and makes you feel like you are having to placate him all the time. are you getting happiness and contentment out of this partner ship? and is he??
the sex/dancing issue: i have heard about this before but i think it is just one of those silly things that people say because they would love a way of knowing if a person is good without trying them out - like when us girls try to guess penis size by looking at the size of a mans feet/hands/finger and thumb length/nose! its just like that - silly - not mean't to be taken seriously!!
aside from that though, i think you need to sit him down and have an honest talk about his feelings and why he is so rotten to you. it sounds like he is not happy with you and the marriage - that doesn't mean it can't be fixed! but you need to know how he feels before this can happen. note: it is not just you who has to do all the fixing though to make him happy, ok?
xx
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 Your husband sounds immature and I feel sorry for you, wanting just one night alone with him to enjoy only to be burdened with his nonsensical whining. As for what he read about any correlation between dance and sex, I would not believe it. There is little truth to that and I think he was merely looking for more things to criticize.
I have to question whether he is the right husband for you and whether he is the right father for your son. How is he as a father? My main concern here is allowing your little boy to witness how his father handles problems or any sort of conflicts. He acts like a child and a child cannot raise a little boy to be anything more. You can talk to him, ask him what you have done to deserve such behavior from him and why he always seeks to make you feel weaker. He can either start working on his problems or he can leave.
I hope that helps.
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