A
female
age
36-40,
*usha
writes:A guy and I have been talking for about 7 months (I'm 21, he's 24 if that makes a difference.) We used to work together and flirted a lot. A few months after he left (we kept in contact) he tells me he's always been attracted to me and I reciprocated. We decided to "hang out" - we didn't come straight out and say "let's be friends with benefits!" but that's what we implied since we are both busy.Now, like 6 months have gone by and every time I ask to hang out he he's "already got plans" or he says yes initially and then cancels last minute. I called him out on it and he got mad and said that he wasn't blowing me off on purpose, but that he was actually really just busy. Then a casual friend (who's a mutual acquaintance) mentioned a few wks ago that she'd gone to the club with him and some of their friends and that they'd "made out".Whatever. He can make out with whoever he wants because he's single and I've made out with other guys too. The thing that pisses me off is that he's telling me he's overloaded with work and playing soccer to chill w/ me, but he finds time to chill with some other girl after all this crap he's telling me these past six months. Why do this? If you're not interested in getting this whole FWB with me thing on the road, why keep talking to me?I won't talk to him for like a month and then he'll be the one always initiating convos with me. I stopped asking him directly to chill, but we still talk about meeting up in a roundabout way. It's getting really boring and I'm really frustrated, but I don't want to move on because I'm really attracted to him and I think it'd be a fun time if we actually got together. Also the fact that this is like the one, unattainable goal is just driving me insane.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Dump him cause it's not worth being frustrated! Seems like he only calls when "he" wants to Chill, forget that stuff.
Go find a real man that will spend quality time with you and be happy :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): Ahh...This sounds like my situation last year - except I didn't want him to be FWB or anything like that. I liked him and he supposedly liked me, but he kept leading me on to believe he was busy with 'stuff'. He's not worth the trouble. Delete his number, email, and any other form of contact you have with him. He's just doing it because/when he's bored.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): He probably knows you're very attracted to him and he knows he can come and go with you as he pleases because you're allowing him to do so. It looks to me like you're his 'spare', just in case something goes wrong with all the others. If I were you I wouldn't hold my hopes up of being anything else just at the moment, and I'd get on with my life, excluding him from it completely.
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