A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey im 16 and im having feelings for a guy that is 27. The thing is he used to work at my school as a hallmonitor. i miss seeing him there and always ask his other hallmontior friend how is he doing and if he could get in contact with me. I just want to tell him my feelings that i have for him. just to get it out in the open to see how he feels. i feel like this is a wrong approach to the situation and i shouldnt be thinking of him but i do all the time and cant get him out of my mind. im down in the dumps because of it and the fact that i cant really talk to him or see him anymore. Please send me some advice. im in need of it.-Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): Hmm... this brings back memories. I used to have a thing for a hall monitor back when I was in highschool, though I knew him from before he started working at school and he kinda liked me too, I was 17 and he was 24... I didn't work, because after I graduated we lost touch and left town...but I digress...I've seen 10 year gap relationships work... but not in this context. My sister's boyfriend is 31, but my sister is 21, so there are no legal issues, and she's a bit more mature than if she were 17 and he was 27. I'm not saying it wouldn't work. It could, but most likely, it wouldn't. Especially because you're underage, bur mostly, because you two are probably in very different pages. Different ages, different stages.I've also seen older guys go for younger girls and their intentions usually aren't the best... usually, also, they've been immature losers who refuse to grow up and take responsibilities, they still live with mommy, etc. I'm just warning you, although your guy doesn't sound like this, as he sounds like an independent guy who has a job.Ok, but enough. If you want to get this out of your system, talk to the ohter hall monitor and get in touch. Let him know of your feelings... but you have to be prepared if it doesn't go as you'd like. It'd be just to get it out of your system. You shouldn't get your hopes up.You can do this, or you can't, but whatever you do, DO THIS: Let go of him. It's too far fetched, sorry if this isn't what you want to hear honey, but back in highschool (around 2 years ago) I saw a lot of failed relationships like this and broken hearts, unwanted pregnancies, etc... You do realize you're in higschool, and highschool is filled with cute guys? Ok, maybe some are lame, and they can be very immature and not as interesting or alluring as a older guy, but there's a much higher chance to find someone who shares your interests and you connect with. You'll most likely find a sweet guy, caring, smart... but look hard for him! Usually those are the guys that are a bit shy and many times overlooked by girls... in other words, good guys, true gems! Don't be discouraged honey, you're in a stage of life in which you should be having fun, having your first dating experiences... not being down because of some older guy you haven't heard from in a long time! I made this mistake and wasted some time... Let yourself shine, have fun with friends and meet guys, even if you don't date them, just have fun because highschool is the only precious time in life when you're allowed to have this kind of silly fun. Later in life you'll start facing other responsibilities, and new and exciting experiences, but you'll have lost some other beautiful experiences that you'll never get back, just because you were fixed on one guy. Don't let this happen to you sweetie, you'll be much happier...
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