A
female
age
30-35,
*lyciaohtwo
writes:Hi all, thanks in advance for anyone who reads and/or assists me in solving this difficult relationship. I finally ended it with my ex abuser of 3 years and met a new guy. He is great, nothing like my ex. I fell for him quite quickly, we text very often and the first time we talked on the phone (which was only last night), it was for 3 hours. We have a lot of chemistry, sexually and emotionally, and he seemed to be really into me until he texted me last night and said "look, I really really like you, but I still have feelings for my ex and I can't get over it. We can either be friends or friends with benefits..but I know you're not that type of girl and I respect that..so it's up to you what you want to do." He was with his ex on and off for 3 years like me. he waited 2 years for her parents to even let her date him, then she accused him of cheating and left him. He finally proved her wrong but she claimed she couldn't trust him and he said if you can't trust me then we need to just end this. anyway, we talked on the phone about it, and I said I could do neither (friends OR friends w/benefits) and that we should just say our goodbye's. He asked if I was sure and I said yes, and said goodbye to him. He was very upset. He said he couldn't let me go but I said goodbye anyway. He called me back 2 minutes later and said "look I really can't let you go. You're awesome, you're "hot", smart, funny..everything, my type of girl. I'm just so afraid of falling in love and getting hurt again. I won't be happy until I'm with you...can I call you tonight? don't say goodbye to me please.." and I agreed. That night he texted me and said "I can't stop thinking...I want you, I really care about you..but I don't want to get hurt again. I think we should just stop.." His explanations are contradictory...one minute he's not over his ex, another minute he's afraid of getting hurt, next minute he wants me....... what would you do if you were me? Would you wait? Would you be friends? (which will be very difficult because we have high sexual chemistry). What should I do? ='(
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female
reader, smiley_1  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 Hello,
It could be both. Maybe he's not over his ex, and maybe he is afraid to get hurt. It depends.
Maybe he's wanting to see if there's any possible way he can get back together with is ex, and keep u waiting in the wings for him. Could be many scenarios.
You don't want to be a rebound relationship. If you truly like him stay in contact see what happens. If he's still not willing to commit in time, then you need to move on.
Good luck,
;D
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