A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Girls, if you had a male best friend who admitted he liked you but you felt you wasn't ready for a relationship (for any reason but for example because you've been hurt in the past), how would you react if your male best friend gradually started to show physical affection to you, such as holding your hand when out, leaning and kissing your cheek in the car, walking with his arm round you, buying you gifts on valentines day etc...if you were not interested at all and knew you never would be, would you be honest and tell him you were not happy with his behaviour or would it be obvious to him from your body language if he tried to hold hands etc and you were not willing? I am asking as I want to date my best friend but she says she is not ready for a relationship (due to various problems in her past) yet I have begun to do all the above and she seems so comfortable, and happy when I do all these things and I can't help thinking if she didn't like me I would be able to tell?
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best friend, her past, kissing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 She is not ready for a relationship but it does not mean that she does not enjoy the physical closeness and the attentions you showered upon her.
She is telling you not to expect too much or too high or too fast in this friendship with her.
If she did not enjoy the increased in physical affections, she would have pushed you away or pour cold water on your attempts.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Not necessarily. Many women just love getting male attention and until your gestures remain affectionate but respectful and non-sexual, they would not discourage them. It's an ego thing.
Perhaps you should talk to her and just ask her what she feels about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): I would allow some physical contact such as holding hands and a hug if he was a best friend. But i would stop allowing it if i knew he was developing feelings beyond that of a friend. You should really explain how you are feeling and you dont just see her as a friend anymore. Let her chose if she wants to continue with physical affection. If i didnt want any physical contact i would just tell you straight. But everyones different. So explain how you feel and ask if what you are doing is ok.
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