A
female
age
51-59,
*ate1971
writes:I'm so frustrated - I can fancy a man at face value, with lust in the equation, and much prefer sex with the male body, but when it comes to infatuation, fascination, awe and nervousness etc., it's only women who I can get this with. It would be so nice to get my feelings for men as I do women. I love men, but would you say it's essential to have a fascinated crush on someone before 'falling in love?' If so, how could anyone in reality have such relationships, while quaking in their shoes? I can't be nervous around men at all. Many thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 November 2012):
 nope I do not think a "facinated crush" is mandatory for falling in love... in fact, I think it' is just the opposite...
When you crush on someone you can't see their faults and you put them on a pedestal.... it's not good.
getting to know someone whom is pleasing to your eye is probably a good way to go...
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (26 November 2012):
 Not at all. My sister hated her husband before they started dating... She thought that he was a jerk. He kept bothering her for a date, and after the 20th time she finally said ok to coffee. She realized that he wasn't really a jerk, he just acted that way to put up a wall. Now they're madly in love, married, and have a kid. Sometimes love can happen over time. It's not always instantaneous...
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