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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: So I am really confused by this guy. We work together, and we spend a lot of our free time together too as we have the same hobby. I really like him, and I think he likes me, but I wonder after nearly 3 months why he hasn't made a move yet, and in a way I feel like we are dating already. Good signs: . We talk, text or see each other nearly everyday. . We seem to have dinner or lunch or coffee together at least once a week. . In public we tease and rip on each other. . If we sit close together we tend to touch or are very close to touching. . He never seems to rush away when in my company. . He has made some loaded comments, eg: when asked if he would wait for a moment and look after my stuff- "Do you want me to be?" and when asked if he would come for coffee to discuss some of my concerns when he had to be elsewhere "For you [insert name]..." . He tells me a lot about himself and his family, he is quite private. . Reassures me, as I do him, if I go to him with a problem. . We walk close together. . Makes time for me. . We travel home together. . I have started to influence his dress sense. . Paid for dinner a couple of times . Felt comfortable enough to eat some of my takeaway if offered. Bad signs: . Sometimes he separates himself from me at work or when we are attending a meeting at our hobby. . He has lots of friends who are girls. . If I get flirty when texting he doesn't seem to respond in kind. . He has a dry sense of humour so difficult to tell when he is joking. . He has talked twice now about if a girl he might be partnered with for our hobby is hot or not and what I thought, but has then clarified that by saying it would help them win. . He doesn't want to be partnered with me for our hobby as I am too "familiar". . Can be aloof. . Although I think he likes me, he's not obvious like some men. . Not much eye contact and I don't catch him staring. . The way he phrases some of the things he says is interesting. . Not much physical touching unless instigated by me ie: hugs. Thing is, I have really started to like him, and I worry we or I, am entering the friendzone. We are both shy in regards to relationships (or I know I am and I am inferring it from his conduct) and I worry that neither will ever make a move. I am a great believer in gut instinct and mine is that he likes me, but with him bringing up other women twice and just being stand-off ish at times, I worry that I have got it wrong, or that I will always stay in the friendzone. Another added issue is he doesn't drink, which means, no drunken antics can occur which would help reduce both our inhibitions. As I feel he is a bit shy, I don't want to be this dominant women as I worry I will scare him off. What I am looking for and I know it is so difficult from not seeing us interact is are just going to be friends or if there are enough signs of him liking me for me to hold out and see where it goes.
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at work, drunk, flirt, shy, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 November 2012):
 I think he likes you a lot as a friend. nothing more.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): Personally if I were him I wouldn't make a move either. It's nothing personal just really a bad idea when you both work together and share the same hobby. I mean both of those could be ruined if you got together and broke up. Too much of a risk in my book.
But no OP, I have to say none of that is a sign of anything. He might like you but he's doing nothing to act on that, he's showing zero definitive signs at all of a romantic interest. It just sounds like you've become close friends.
Try not to read too deeply into this OP, even shy guys are "obvious" as you like to say other guys are. I think you're getting your signals mixed up. This is more about hope than reality.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (26 November 2012):
 He's probably just very friendly... I'm like that a lot... Touchy feely, outgoing and such... I wouldn't read anything into it...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2012): My guess is that he is gay. He likes you as a friend, as he does other girls, but isn't interested in you in 'that way.'
Ask him out, already. He can say yes or no but then you will know. It isn't dominant, unless you are in a culture which prohibits women from asking men out.
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