A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure where to start. First off, I'm sorry if this post turns into a novel…I'll try my best to keep it short and simple.I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2 yearsIts my boyfriends birthday soon and he wants to go clubbin for he is turning 21 and im 21 and hes asked to go without me.. and on his birthday so we wont be spending any time together on it..When we first started dating it was pretty bad he would go on car cruises with his friends and their girlfriends up to the country and never inviting me saying i lived to far away to pick up when they left.. once he came to my house the day i got back from a holiday he came over for a few hours then left me to go to his friends bbq saying he would come back later... hes also gone to costume partys and clubs without asking me or telling me to come along.The last straw was when i found on facebook him replying to his ex girlfriend who commented i miss you and he said i miss you to bub and she said when are you coming to see me and he said i miss you to and soon... 'we had a huge fight and he said he didn't even know what the word 'bub' meant and he wasint planning on seeing her .. over the last year its changed tho im pretty sure hes never cheated on me and he does devote almost 98% of his time with me.. but after this crap has happend and so much more i feel like if he wants to go and he does gGirls are attracted to guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challengingo then ill never take him back.. Am i feeling wrong about this? should i just suck it up and get over it? weve come this far and its gotten good.
View related questions:
cheated on me, ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2011): If he devotes 98% of his time to you already then you get more than the average dating relationship....you don't even live together.
As for him going out for his 21st, well.....can't you make plans to go out with your friends and maybe meet up for 'last orders' with your boyfriend. No need to spy on him if you trust him. Its not a case of 'letting him go out' either of you can go where you please so long as your not cheating, it makes a relationship better if you have time away doing other stuff.
Maybe ask yourself why you don't like the idea of him celebrating with his mates? If you don't like the way he is then maybe its time to talk.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 October 2011):
 Keep things simple. The odd crappy thing here or there will happen in a long term relationship, but you mix too much into this, and things that might not even belong here.
He wanted to go on town alone for his 21st. Why? Ask him. Then base your decision on his answer, and not on all these thoughts you have around everything that happened ever since the day you got together.
Do you think he will cheat? If so, does it matter if you come along with him on the night out? Should you have to SUPERVISE him in order for him to behave? Either you trust, or you don't.
Or, do you feel left out? If so, discuss that with him. Find ways to make you feel included, while he still gets to have his time apart from you. People in relationships are still individuals that need time apart from each other, without that being a negative thing.
Ask him why he wants to go alone and think about your reasons for not wanting him to go, and if there can be a compromise.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (30 October 2011):
"...guys who are mysterious and who are mentally challengingo..."
Umm, does this have anything to do with the other question asking if girls like guys that are mysterious and mentally challenging? Coinsidence?
...............................
|
