A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Would you date someone if you knew he/she was leaving the country within the year and there could never be anything serious?I am coming out of a relationship and I want something very casual, but I will be moving away within the year. I feel bad asking someone out knowing if it gets serious that I will break their heart, I will not stay even if I fall in love here. I will go.I am just coming out of a long distance relationship and my heart was broken when we had to go back to our own countries. I know how it feels, I don't want to do it to anyone.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 October 2012):
 Well are you looking for actual casual DATING or are you looking for FWB/casual sex?
because I would think that by the time you get to a third casual date you will have talked about such things as jobs, school, some light plans... it would probably come up in casual conversation....
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (12 October 2012):
Leading people on is wrong, and you wouldn't like it to be done to you. Friendship is ok but nothing remotely close to relationship stuff.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): I know exactly what you mean, honesty is the best way. But how would I even do that?
"Hi, I like you, let's get a drink. By the way, I'm leaving this country forever in 6 months and I do not want a LDR if it comes to that"
That seems a little presumptuous. Would it be best to just start something regardless and then keep it very casual and only if it starts showing signs of serious let the other person know?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2012):
as long as you are totally honest about the fact that even if they whine and cry and beg you to continue the relationship as an LDR you will turn your back and walk away from them, then go for it.
honesty is the only issue for me.
of course my LDR and I just got married... so what do I know
and i have close friends that got married in September they have been LDR for two years and will continue to be LDR for three more years.... but to each his/her own... some folks can't deal with LDRs and I get that totally I could not have done it if we had less physical contact than we did (once we got serious it was pretty much every weekend)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): I wouldn't deny them that, I would want them to come with me. But the truth is if they don't I will leave them behind, because I have made up my mind to leave. Just coming out of ldr I don't want to spend the year all by myself. I think meeting someone new will help me move on, but I don't want to hurt that person in the process.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2012):
as long as you are upfront about the fact that you are leaving and WILL NOT do the LDR thing... you can try to find someone willing to take the risk....
what happens if it gets serious and you move and they want to go with you? will you deny them that?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): Well, if you see that things might get serious, then go for it. You never know..things could change! Maybe he/she will move with you? Id say go for it as long as you tell him/her what's the deal and as long as you guys try to make it work!
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