A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need your help. We broke up about 4 months ago because she was cheating emotionally. After breakup she started dating the same guy. Now they have broken up and she contacted me by email and wants to be friends with me and see me for coffee. What should I respond?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): I had been in a relationship like that and finally got out after several years. I wish I was like you and ended it sooner than that. He called back calling me beautiful and sexy and that was months after we broke up because that other woman didn't find it exciting enough to have an affair with a man that was already taken. He was lonely and figured he could lure me back by saying things like how much he missed me and loved me. I didn't go back and he got angry. He called back several months later trying to sound like he was interestd in me and I kept my word - no. He gave up after seeing me two years later with the love of my life. Be strong - usually, they come back because they dont' have someone to hang out with. Once they come back, they go back to their old habits - emotional abuse, they may even get into affairs, they say you stay home while I go out with other people...they give little care as to how you feel until after the fact and then they get dumped by the other person and then they come back to you to "refuel" and then go back out and do the same old thing again. YOu are considered as the "just in case" or "old reliable" one. Don't let them take you for a ride. Take your power back.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): Move on brother, she's not your friend and you are Mr Fallback guy for her now her relationship is over she probably sees how decent a guy you were, but it didnt stop her f*cking around on you in the first place. Friendship is about trust, respect and honesty and she showed you none of that. Delete her number, don't answer her calls and find someone who will respect you as much as you respect her.Good luck dude!
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (26 March 2011):
I don't find being friends with an ex, a good idea at all. But being this an ex-partner who cheated on you, it would be absolutely ridiculous.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 March 2011):
 That's up to you. Personally, I would move on since the trust has been broken. That's key in a relationship - trust, and she broke yours.
So it's up to you whether or not to forgive her or to move on and look elsewhere. Don't be just friends with her. That will hinder your ability to find someone new, as your new GF would hate the fact that you stay in contact with an ex.
Communicate with her only if you and she want to get back together. She sounds afraid to be alone.
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