A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,So i've been seeing a new guy for about 4 weeks. We've had a bit of a 'fumble' and I've given him oral sex. The night that i gave him oral sex, i text him asking what we were. We aren't friends but we aren't a couple officially either. His response was he was enjoying getting to know me and classed it as 'courting.' Is this good? Where do i go from here? We act like bf and gf, kissing and cuddling all the time! I was in a relationship when we first starting talking (an abusive one) and i think my ex has scared him off a bit, but what do i do? Any clues?I'm enjoying being single *not seeing anyone else though* but would LOVE him as my bf. Please help!!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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kissing, my ex, oral sex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): You may have given away too much, too soon. Then for you to ask where you stood kinda made you look a little insecure for only knowing him a month. It appears he likes all the sexual stuff you're giving him but that definitely isn't how to get him to be your boyfriend, quite the opposite. Most guys like the chase and you may have made it too easy for him so I would let him court you, like he said he wants to do. That would mean taking you out and stuff.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): If you want him to elevate you to girlfriend status, it may be too late as you are giving him sex (yes oral sex is still sex) without any commitment so I think you would call that being used if you aren't careful....guys will say anything to get sex, they can act like they are your boyfriend and tell you they even love you....but you will never know for sure until you see if he just simply enjoys being in your company without the sex. Act like a lady...guys want there girlfriends to be aomeone they respect and having sex like this too early is often a way to lose the respect of the guy. If all you were after was sex fine, but you want relationship, so focus on relationship building and trust first....don't leave yourself open to being abused again. Guys know what they want and I doubt your ex has anything to do with him.
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A
female
reader, EBM2008  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 He will most likely remain interested if you don't go any further sexually, that way he'll be wondering what it would be like and stay around longer. Best of luck :)
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A
female
reader, Reeca +, writes (23 May 2009):
 If your guy has said your 'courting' its an old fashioned term for dating.
In my opinion courting would mean that your not quite an official couple but your not casual either you go and spend time with one another.
4 weeks is very early days in a relationship so just enjoy each day as it comes - don't rush things as this could put pressure on him.
In regards to your ex, if as you say the relationship was a abusive I would make sure you have no contact with him as this may disrupt your new relationship. Don't answer your exes calls or texts.
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