A
male
age
30-35,
*timesyou
writes:Okay im a guy that is 19 years old and i know a girl that is 15 that really likes me. Im really starting to like her back but don't know about our age difference. The age of concent here is 17 but we wouldn't have a sexual relationship. We both believe in no sex until marriage and i even have a promise ring. so my question is "would it be ok for us to go out if we are not going to have sex even with the 4 year age differnce?" Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (16 August 2010):
Why should people assume that "dating", or just "keeping company", with somebody of the opposite sex means you're sleeping together?
The "anonymous male" is right - but it doesn't have anything to do with "age of consent", sexual relationships, etc. First, since she's 15, and second, because you're significantly older (but not ridiculously older), you really need to be up-front with her parents!
Nine times out of ten they'll really admire you for simply being respectful enough to meet them before you spend significant time with their daughter. And if you REALLY want to score points - come out and ask for their permission to date her, and what restrictions they would put on the relationship. And LISTEN to what they say!
Yes, they might say "No." But in that case, if you went ahead with your dating plans WITHOUT asking, they would have said "NO!", and possibly inflicted both legal and physical penalties upon you. (The phrase "shotgun wedding" didn't arise purely out of somebody's imagination, without a dose of physical inspiration.)
And if they say "Yes, but . . . ", you can be certain that the ". . . but . . ." is MUCH less severe than if you hadn't asked.
Although the gender roles are reversed in your case, you can probably learn a few things by reading the threads "Older girl dating a younger guy?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/older-girl-dating-a-younger-guy.html or even "Should I invite my boyfriend to my graduating ceremony?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-invite-my-boyfriend-to-my-graduating.html .
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): You'd best get in good with her parents and not ever get into a situation where they even THINK that you're having sex with her. ANY sexual contact... not just intercourse. No touching, sucking, licking... NOTHING... no nudity... no showers together. No sleeping in the same bed - NOTHING. There are other laws that you can be brought up on, and you need to be fulled educated. four years is nothing once you're a bit older, but when one's a minor and the other an adult it's a HUGE issue.
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A
female
reader, NZLGirl  +, writes (16 August 2010):
There is no law for dating a minor only for having sex with one. If you like he and she likes you then go for it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): In Australia where I come from the age of consent is 16. So social norms about these things differ. As for a 4 year age difference, I personally do not think it matters... and as you are not planning to have sex it is a non-issue. I say go for it!
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