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female
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anonymous
writes: Get ready for this one! I am really interested in this man whom I have known fairly well for the past three years. He is the best friend of one of my best friend’s husbands. For a long time we (the four of us) would go out do dinner and just hang out together on a regular basis. I never really considered that we were dating because at the time I was seeing another mutual friend, and because we never did anything with just the two of us. The relationship I was in ended and this guy was basically front and center to witness it all. About two days after the breakup we were celebrating our friends birthday and got a little tipsy. We ended up crashing on their living room floor (which we had done on other occasions) and he initiated some fooling around. He was very sweet about the whole thing and we stopped before anything too serious happened. I found out later he stopped because he didn’t have a condom with him, and he didn’t want to take advantage of the situation. We cuddled through the night and in the morning I woke up and he was sitting on the couch. I wasn’t sure what to do because I didn’t want him to think that the whole thing happened because I was drinking, but he just smiled and patted the couch for me to come and sit with him. I got up and sat down and he pulled me down so I had my head in his lap and we just talked for awhile. I think he was even playing with my hair a bit. Our friends woke up and came downstairs to find us like this. He didn’t try to get up or push me away or act like we were doing anything unusual. We ended up spending the day together (all four of us) and we never really talked about what had happened. This was probably a year and a half ago. I starting going to school full time as well as working full time and so I didn’t have as much free time and I sort of drifted away from the group for a while. We began hanging out in a group again about 8 months ago and we kind of flirt and tease each other, but we never did discuss what happened. I guess he brought it up to his friend (my friends husband) and said that he thought I was upset with him and that’s why he never pursued it further. He hasn’t dated anyone in three years and he hasn’t even had a fling or a one night stand. We recently went out of town with some of our friends (two couples and their little boy). We stayed in the same hotel room, but in separate beds. I really enjoyed spending time alone with him. We had a fantastic view of the city from the balcony in our room, and after dark we stood outside and talked for over an hour. He is such a nice, respectful person. I really feel safe with him and I know he would never let anything happen to me. I just feel like sometimes he is still interested and sometimes I’m not sure. I know that we are both afraid to make the first move, and I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for anyone else either. I would love to just call him up and ask him to go out for drinks or something, but I don’t want to freak him out. What should I do? I want to tell him, but we aren’t really ever alone at an opportune time, and I don’t want to just blurt it out.
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (22 August 2005):
 Hey ..c'mon you two sound like you had real chemistry that time that you guys were hanging out. I don;t think it would freak him out...I think it would reassure him that you are not angry with him or feeling awkward. Get his number and give him a call so you two can talk a bit. I don't think you have anything to worry about here..go for it...have fun
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