A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me and two days later I went out with my friend (I'll call her Jill). We went to this party and my ex boyfriend's best friend(I'll call him Pete) was there. He just happens to be Jill's secret crush. I started dating my ex right after Jill and him ended a little "fling". She was mad for awhile but since our relationship lasted 2 years she got over it.At this party i was "under the influence" And Pete was taking care of me and helping me out. During this time Jill had left to go to the store leaving us alone together. I really like Pete because I think he's funny, a really great guy, and I'm attracted to him. I was all over him that night when my friend was gone. I felt lonely because I didn't have a boyfriend but also I really liked this guy. If Jill didn't like Pete then I definitely would have kissed him. I feel bad because this is not only bad in one way but two. It is bad to like your ex boyfriends friends (especially since I'm still friends with my ex)also because I'm not going to steel the guy Jill wants to be with. But he goes off to college in the fall and would it be terrible if something happened and nobody had to know about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advise
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): Yes it would be terrible because he would know it and you would know it. Plus the good feeling you may get from it may not be worth it in the end if Jill finds out that you stole her crush again. Who is to say no one will find out? I happen to think that secrets like that never last and always come back to haunt us sooner or later. They especially like to bite us back when everything finally seems to be going right. I mean is there no other guys around for your rebound relationship? You are risking losing a lot of close friends for something you can easily avoid. But well babe its your decision to make, that just my opinion of my life's experiences with me and my friends'.
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