A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:the girl I love is coming back from a long vacation and I missed her so much but I didn't call her or text her much because I didn't want to bother her. She messaged me while she was gone just seeing how I was doing. She has said I love you to me before actually a few times and we have kissed a few times before but I am not sure if she loves me as a friend or if she actually loves me and would date me. She is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time as my mother has been battling cancer for the past few months and before that my father had similar problems but is fully recovered. Back to the info, she makes me feel so good and I really want to be her boyfriend but I don't really know if she has one or not. I went to a party with her and she said she broke up with her boyfriend that day so I was like alright ill give it a few days and then try my luck (this being after she gets back from vacation) but the next day she went on a date with the guy so I have no idea. She confuses me a lot and I like it but at the same time it is killing me because I want to be her guy and that is selfish of me but I don't know what else to say. My question is can I write her a note and put it in the mailbox without making it creepy. I would put my name on it so its not like im some secret admirer. Here is what I have written so far - Dear (name), I wanted to write to you because are such a good friend and an amazing person. I have so much I want to tell you and this is the only way I know how. I didn’t want to bother you when you were in California but I honestly missed you ?. I owe you so much right now and could keep on writing for pages and pages about how special and amazing you truly are. My friends asked me after the basketball game who you were and with a smile on my face I said that is Jamie and she is incredible. It was selfish of me to want to hang out with you all the time but that’s because my personality is probably too protective and I’m sorry if that has ever made you feel uncomfortable. When I am with you I love looking into your eyes and the way you laugh because I know it will always keep a smile on my face. I love that I can’t figure you out sometimes because it keeps me on my toes and always trying harder. You said that you love me and it feels good but I didn’t really know what to say back without making you feel uncomfortable. The days that I seem angry or send you a message that isn’t very nice is because I actually like you and I’m a coward because I don’t want to care about someone who doesn’t feel the same way about me. After I hang out with you I have two different feelings one is great because I could hang out with a beautiful and caring girl but the other kind of sucks and that is regret because I wonder “what if” I was a little more outgoing would I try and kiss you more and would that help me or would that make things worse. "Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her".... I was also thinking about just getting her a rose and maybe a smaller letter just saying I missed you or something like that instead of the longer letter written above. Let me know your thoughts and stuff, because I really need help on this one.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Dude, I was your age once. I know how you feel and to be blunt it is not okay to put any note in her mailbox (that will always end up as creepy). It sounds to me like you two are friends. That's a good thing. If you like her as more... talk to her directly about it. Its not an easy thing to do, but trust me when I say that if you can do this, First off... you will have the answer you seek, and second, if she doesn't feel the same you at least have a good chance to keep your friendship. Don't try to be all smooth and romantic or "cool"... just be yourself. I know it's cliche, but thats all you can really do, and its the best thing you can do, because if she doesn't like you for who you actually are, it would never work anyway, and she wouldn't be worth it. Best of luck buddy.
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