A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok this is going to sound so wrong to moit of you but its been palying on my mind for do long now i need help badly i am 21 yet i have felaing for a 15 year old i know this is so wrong as of the age gap but i genuinly have fealings for her ITS NOT ABOUT SEX AT ALL as im christan and dont belavth in sex befor mariage we both work at the same place and some of my co workers have made comments that she might like me but they that no idear that i like her back i am willing to wait till she is 16 till i ask her out but what i want to ask know is it ok for me to ask her out when she turn 16 even thow i will be 21 ?please help me as this is driving me crazy be as hounest as you like i welcome all comments and i will respect your opinion no matter what you think of me or what say in your reply i will respect you no mater what you think of me please i need your help on this p.s sorry about spelling im dyslexic
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2012): Reguardless of what the other's say, the age gap isn't that big of a deal... As you go though life, you will meet girls that are 16 going on 30, and 30 going on 16. If you really like her, tell her how you feel. If you don't, YOU WILL look back some years from now and wonder what would have happened.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2012): Forget about her and find someone your own age. The age of consent law is in place for a reason, and its to stop young people getting into things they're NOT ready for.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 October 2012):
 If you were asking me as her mother if you could date my 16 year old child when you were a grown man of 21 the answer would be NO.
Several reasons
1. She may look like an adult but she is not. She won’t be for at least 6 more years
2. She may know what she wants but her brain is not fully formed yet.. that’s why parents are in charge till kids are 18
While the age of consent where you are is 16 I do believe she is still considered a minor and here in the states if you are sexual with her you would be legally branded a CHILD sexual predator… NOT a good thing.
IF you want to DATE her properly then pretend it’s 1900.
GO to her parents… and explain to them (DAD and MOM) that you would like to COURT their daughter in proper fashion. Then DO IT.
It means you can never be alone with her… always chaperoned with AN ADULT of her parents choosing… i.e. spend time with her with her parents or their designated representatives getting to know her properly. THAT’S DATING btw… not kissing.. not sex… not being physical.
Since you are a Christian and do not believe in sex till marriage this should satisfy your desire to date her, win her parents respect and give you a long time to get to know her properly.
Good luck.
BTW once she is 21 and you are 27 then it’s all good to go… I don’t have an issue at all with the tiny gap of 6 years later on…. But for NOW it’s too much.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): Hi. You say your attraction to her is not about sex. So what are you attracted to? What is driving you crazy? If you like her personality, you can be friends. She is still a kid. So try to view her as such and avoid driving yourself crazy. Because that doesnt sound very healthy for you. If you can make a conscious effort to go out more and socialize with your peers it will help you to put this infatuation into perspective.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): Her family will, no matter what you say, be unhappy that a 21 year old has asked out their daughter. She is very much still a child in terms of her life experience and while you are able to socialise in pubs, clubs anywhere really she will still be at youth clubs and have curfews.
I wouldn't get involved at this stage, young girls often crush on older guys but over the next 5 years she is going to really change as she matures. What she thinks she likes and wants now could go out of the window, being in a relationship with someone older who is interested in a long term relationship could really hold her back in developing into her own person.
There are bigger age differences that people live with, but as another poster said if she was already 25 and you were 31 no one would worry, it's just it is completely inappropriate with her being so young now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): When a guy says "ITS NOT ABOUT SEX AT ALL", then it's all about sex.You are a legal adult and she is a child maturity and life experience; when she turns sixteen you will be a legal adult and she will be a child in terms of maturity and life experience. Please seek counselling, you have no idea how inappropriate your question or the manner in which you are asking it really is (and I don't mean the effects of your dyslexia).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): At 21, you really shouldn't be at the same place in life as a 16 years old.
It's not that the age difference is that big, it is just that she is still so young. When she will be 25, this age difference will not matter anymore. But right now, she is supposed to still be in high school, maybe with a part time job when you should either be in college or work a full time job. Your schedule, ideal life and aspirations should not be in sync.
But if you do love her that much, go for it. Just be very careful not to rush her into a "mature" lifetime too soon.
p.s. sorry about spelling, I'm french.
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