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Would it be appropriate, and not creepy, to send him a thank you message?

Tagged as: Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 26 May 2016)
A female Norway age 36-40, anonymous writes:

This is the first time Im asking something like this... I recently had a conversation with customers support over the phone, and the man who took my call was so nice and helpful, and he sent me an e-mail afterwards with further information about my case (which is how I got his name).

Would it be really creepy to send him a thank-you message? I found him on facebook, so could send it directly to him without going through his work. Then again, who wants to be pestered by customers when you're just doing your job... but I guess I wanted to just ask if this is at all appropriate.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (26 May 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Maybe your friends want to indulge in a bit of matchmaking :) ? and this makes them bad advisers.

Really, it's not a good idea to contact privately someone who did something for you in his public, professional capacity. Btw, he could have a partner with whom you could put him in trouble . " Honey, I swear, I don't even know this woman, all I did was helping her with her ( PC / heating system / fill the blank ). " Yeah right. PC my foot ! As if all customers are sending you home thank you notes because you are so kind ! "

You can ..do nothing, after all it would be ( at least ideally ) his job to give prompt, kind, efficient assistence; it's his other two colleagues who did less than due, not he who did more :).

But if you are sold on sending him a thank you, IMO it would be nothing as dramatic as your friends say. Of course you don't need to gush or to wax lyrical , and make the management think that he spent MORE time and energies on you that he reasonably should have, but if you want to briefly aknowledge that you are satisfied about their services and that your problem has been solved rapidly with the help of an efficient, courteous employee, I don't see how this could hurt him and his reputataion.

Up to you. Also not following through is fine ( and normal ) , as you said, you already thanked him on the phone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Now I got advice from other people too, and they advised against writing his workplace. They said he would probably get in trouble for having gone above and beyond for me, doing services that no one else at that business would do. That it would just make him look like an over-achiever and get him in trouble. They advised me that I should message him in private instead (which is what you guys advised me not to do).

So, sadly, my conclusion is to just not do anything at all. I thanked him over the phone already, like every polite person would, I will just leave it at that. I don't have his private work e-mail address, the email was sent from a customers service general e-mail, except that he signed it with his name. If I wrote back to that address, it would run the risk of landing in someone else`s hands.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (25 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI agree, you do NOT send a thank you through Facebook, just because you got his e-mail details. NOT appropriate.

If you MUST send a Thank You, send it though the SAME e-mail HE used to send you further details.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for the advice! I think I will send an email to his company then. His service was extraordinary for this particular firm. I called two times before, only to barely being listened to, until he picked up my call. And then he solved the entire matter for me in 5 minutes, that I had spent hours trying to fix. I was so relieved, I was dancing around in the kitchen afterwards.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (25 May 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt It does not sound appropriate to me. It comes off like really creepy and invasive. Like you said, who wants be pestered at home etc. Plus, you met this person through his work, for work related issues, and benefited from his professional, not personal, assistence and courtesy. Btw, it is his job to be helpful and courteous, this is what he is paid for, so you should not expect anything less- but, at most, if you really think he performed his duties in an exceptional way which deserves a written recognition, you could drop a short email to the company which hires him , not to him, expressing your gratitude as a satisfied customer also due to the prompt and kind intervention of Mr. XY . I think nobody would object to be made look good in front of their bosses, but loooots of people would object receiving unsolicited friendly ouvertures by their customers.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (25 May 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntNice thought but Totally inappropriate. Id be freaked right out if someone did that to me. Also, it wouldn't go any further when really anyone worthy of such positive feedback deserves to have it recognised by their employer.

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