A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've had a crush on this guy for about 4 months now, on and off, and he's sending some pretty mixed signals. Just so you know, he's really sweet and would never knowingly hurt anyone. We had a class together in school and I was positive he liked me back at first: he seemed nervous around me, chatted with me on facebook a lot, even asked for my number, etc. Well anyway, summer came and we sort of lost touch. One night, I decided to text him and sort of catch up, and he mentioned he was planning on asking out another girl in our grade. Now this wasn't just any random girl in our grade- this was a girl that i hate, and she hates me, and anyone who knows either of us knows of our "clashing personalities," as my nice way of putting it. Basically, she's really into herself, kind of snobby, and annoyingly loud. So after he told me he planned on asking her out, every time I thought about him I felt sick, hence I did not like him anymore. The twist: a few hours ago he texted me and was being super friendly, even a little flirty. He mentioned that the girl turned him down and I replied that I was sorry, and then it was a lot of small talk. When I told him I had to go, he said he was sad and that I better text him when I get the chance. After I said bye, I felt really shocked, not mad, not sad, not happy, just shocked; my stomach was doing some weird thing where it twisted up in knots, and I just felt really uncomfortable. I don't know what I feel now. I just can't help but think that he's only flirting with me now as a personal ego boost since he just got rejected. And he has a great personality and is really sweet, so I can't be sure about that. But even if he really does like me now, I don't know how I feel about him. If I decide that I like him again, is it ok to say yes to him if he asks me out? Wouldn't you call that being sloppy seconds? Is it worth going out with him if I have a feeling he really liked the other girl more than me? Your opinions? Please?
View related questions:
crush, facebook, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 July 2010):
 I think you are right.. he first off chose a completely different girl from you, in fact your arch enemy. That tells you his idea of what girl he likes is nothing like you. Then he gets rejected and comes crying to you. Sloppy seconds indeed. No one likes to be the second choice, and in particularly not after their own arch enemy. I think this guy might be sweet and all, realizing it or not, he is being very inappropriate by flirting with you after the rejection.
Stay friends for now. Remember you don't even like him any longer. And he sounds like he just wants an ego boost.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (28 July 2010):
 You're a reasonably intelligent girl who is reading the situation quite accurately. Based on what you've described, it doesn't look like he's very serious about you right now...but the great thing about life is, that if you lead him on a bit and let him discover that you're a better person that the other girl, you won't be a 'second choice' any more.
Many guys make the wrong 'first choice'. I know several guys who found the girl of their dreams after trying to get with me first.
Play your cards right - make it obvious that you're not easily available, but you are a friend he can rely on, and see what happens.
...............................
|
