A
female
age
30-35,
*larabellxx
writes: My ex boyfriend and i of 6 and a half years broke up around 2 years ago. Recently he has been offering to pick me up from work instead of dropping our little girl off later on when im in. Hes now married and im wondering if his wife knows about this. Would anyone find a problem with your partner picking up his ex girlfriend?
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broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 June 2016):
chi girl is correct as always...why not ask him or his wife if she's ok with it.
FWIW I would be fine with my husband giving an ex a ride.
I trust him.
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (6 June 2016):
Then why aren't you just asking him: does your wife know and is okay with you giving me a ride?
Seems simple enough, if you want to avoid drama.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2016): If you are uncomfortable about this situation just tell him you don't need a lift from work. Just define what you would like him to do. What is going on in your mind, or perhaps between the two of you, that is making you concerned about what his wife thinks? You are clearly uncomfortable about it and that is why you have posted. Therefore just stop 'letting him' pick you up then it is not an issue any more and you don't have to worry about what his wife may or may not be thinking.
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A
female
reader, Clarabellxx +, writes (6 June 2016):
Clarabellxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionChigirl being someone who dosen't like the thought of anyone getting hurt i think my way of thinking is responsible and not trying to create drama but actually the opposite. I happen to believe that people could get hurt if unknown actions where taken behind their back considering he's only started to be "helpful" recently. I have done nothing to create drama and i am asking this question in confidence to make sure there is no drama in the future.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 June 2016):
I think you are leaving something out, and it sounds to me like you try to create drama.
I mean, what is it to you what your exes wife thinks? Thats between him and her. You and your ex also have a child together, from what you briefly mention about "our little girl". So you're not just an ex, you are the mother of his child, and it would be normal and only natural for him to be in touch with you. If you and him are able to get along and be friendly, then all the better for the sake of your child.
But no... Look what you manage to think of instead, instead of being happy you and him get along, you start to create drama and are about to suggest to his wife that you and him have an affair of sorts.
You ask me what she thinks of it? She probably thinks nothing of it. He's just offering you a ride, not sex. Separate the two, and realize that your child is much better of if her parents are being friendly towards one another. And realize that a guy being friendly to you, doesn't always mean anything more!
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (5 June 2016):
Depends really. Could be nothing more than a kind act and convenient. Over time, my ex and I would do things for each other, mainly because of our child but sometime not, no funny stuff just a mature mindset. Are you accepting his offer? If it is not here or there but you feel unsure because the uncertainty of his wife knowing. Ask him if she is aware and ok? If you still think its a bit suss but dont mind the lift, suggest to him "then you wont mind me asking her then?"
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