A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I posted about him earlier but would appreciate further advice. I've been seeing someone for two months. He comes off as the confident type but shy around me. We agreed to take things slowly (physically as well) for the both of us but more so for him. From our conversations I can tell he's scared. He's been cheated on twice before. He does most of the initiating. My weakness is that I rarely initiate and express my feelings which I can tell causes him to feel unsure. Since we talked about it, I've been initiating more. But since I started initiating, he stopped. He's on a weeklong trip now. On Monday I texted asking how the trip preparations are coming along. He gave a short reply instead of continuing the convo per usual. Tuesday afternoon I asked him how's his day and he said busy and told me his schedule. That evening I told him to have a safe flight. His flight was early Weds morning and he replied Weds afternoon when he got to his hotel. I chatted with him for a bit then left him alone. That was the last time we spoke. Before this week, he would text good morning every day and make small talk. I understand he's busy and on vacation (purely vacation aside from a media interview on Sunday) but I'm disappointed he stopped reaching out. I stopped as well because I don't want to come off as clingy. I want him to enjoy his trip. I guess I'm disappointed he rather post on social media than say hello to me. During his last trip, he texted and called, and sent pictures. So far we've spoken every day except now we haven't spoken in 2-3 days. He usually involves me and shares his life with me so it's different that he hasn't mentioned his interview. I want to wish him good luck tomorrow but again I don't want to come off as clingy. It feels one sided now. But up until this week he's shown me he cares in so many ways and I want to do the same for once (the media interview is something he's always wanted, it's a big deal to him). I also wanted to mention that he and his last date didn't work out because she was too clingy. Should I text him? Or just wait for his return and see if he reaches out? Is his change of behavior a result of mine or unrelated? I don't have much dating experience and appreciate your advice. Thank you.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 June 2016):
 Two months is still early days, it is a stage where you are both getting to know each other. He felt that you where not putting in enough effort and told you, and now that you are not well he is giving you a taste of your own medicine. It could be the fact that he has lost interest now because he had to ask you to show initiative, or it could be he is busy on his trip preparing for this interview. Either way once he gets back from his trip see how it goes and then decide.
I don't think there is any harm in texting him good luck, this is not clingy at all. You are both taking things slow which is okay but if he continues to be distant, you might want to ask him why.
A
female
reader, miss frank  +, writes (5 June 2016):
Hi. I am unsure of the reasons he now isn't initiating at all... However, I think if its been several days and you care about this guy, and neither of you have contacted since his trip commenced beyond him saying he's there, it's not clingy to text you'll be thinking of him and best of luck for the interview in a light and chatty way. In fact if you don't, as you have said its really important to him, you may find it affects his feelings for you... When he's back then see how it goes but yes i think you should text about this important thing... You are still in a relationship after all. If he's backing off its still the right thing to do, and if he's testing to see if you are true to your word then he'll be hurt that you didn't. Then an honest conversation when he's back
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