A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 18 and I usually like older guys, like who are in their mid to late twenties. This is a step up for me as before I used to like my middle aged teachers. I don't know if it's because I grew up without a father or what, but I tend to act very innocent when I'm around these older guys that I like. I think I'm probably more mature around people my age. Although I like the attention I seem to be able to get with this innocent act, my head keeps telling me that I should act mature around them. I've only been with one guy, who was only two years older than me and it didn't work out. It was a stretch for mr to go for someone my own age, but sometimes I think the messy end it had has put me off guys my own age for life. My question is this; if I actually want something with an older guy, should I be more mature, or would any of them go for someone who seems quite innocent? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): You will have plenty of older men interested in you simply because some men think that it reflects well on them to have a much younger girlfriend.Some women love having an older boyfriend because, knowing that he already sees them as a "trophy" he is much easier to manipulate and usually less demanding of her as a whole person.Other women know that it is far easier for a younger woman to get an older man and that the woman in question may not be facing up to the fact that she feels lacking just as a person in her own right - ie. that she can't cope with a boyfriend of a similar age to her because it would demand more of her character, whereas, with an older guy she can easily, as you say, put on an "act". It is an easy way of getting a lot of attention and can often be because the woman also finds it difficult to really relate to other women and only sees male attention as the type that is worthy.A friend of mine wasted years and years of her life going for older guys because, despite being stereotypically beautiful, she had incredibly low self esteem and, to be frank, a lot of personality defects that she later went to psycotherapy for. As a young girl, she had been doted on by her father and had almost no relationship with her mother, who was suffering from schiizophrenia which, oddly enough, neither she (my friend) or the Dad would acknowledge. She now sees that she was simply trying to replace her father's attention and that she had no concept whatsoever of what it was like to have quality female relationships. I'd say you may be right re. your absence of father figure but not necessarily so. Look also, maybe, at the quality of relationship with your mother or sisters - if these are lacking, you may be automatically trying to go for the "easy option" to get maximum attention with minimum effort.
A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (7 October 2011):
 It depends on the guy hun. Just because he is older does not mean that hew is also mature, so.........an immature guy will like younger girls so that he can feel young again and have more fun then he would have with an older girl or woman. a mature guy will most likely appreciate someone who is his equal and can meet him half way. Be yourself hun and don't concentrate so much on his chronological age but look at his maturity level.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011): I say act like yourself, whatever that may be. If you act like a goofy teenager, though, I think some guys really go for that and other guys don't. It is impossible to say, "all men who like women who act like this." Each guy will like something else. Some older guys don't like young girls because they are immature acting. Many older guys like young girls for physical reasons only, due to immaturity.
But if you be yourself, then you're more likely to attract the right guy for you, rather than trying to be what he wants you to be.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (7 October 2011):
 The simple answer to your question is to be just yourself, if you are interested in a guy then you should always be yourself and try and not pretend to be anything or anybody else, because the true you will always come out in the end. Plus a guy in there mid 20s is not going to chase a girl at your age if they think you are innocent and naive they are going to want a woman that is mature. So just be yourself.
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