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female
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anonymous
writes: I was having a conversation with my 16-year-old son recently about his plans for the future.He said to me he wants to finish college, go on to university, then get a good job, and live in squalor.I asked him why he wanted to live in squalor and he said it would make him happy.I'm pleased he is doing well at and enjoying his studies, but I just can't understand why he'd want to live in squalor.What do me and his father do?Marie from Birmingham, UK
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (5 January 2006):
 Think about it... your son is 16, and at an age where he wants to say and do anything that will yank your chain. He's just being contrary because he can tell it bothers you. Teens are *designed* to test their parameters with their parents. I'm sure he doesn't really mean it, even if he claims he does. Sigh, smile and let it go.
You can look forward to lots more negativity, lots of "You don't understand because I have the answers for my generation", and lots more bull-headed contrariness in the next couple of years, but don't worry about it. He'll come good, as the vast majority of young men do, sometime around age 18.
He may even go through a stage where he lives in his own filth, much like a dung beetle who's really let himself go, but eventually your son will pull his act together, as most people do.
Try not to worry. File his comment away in the back of your mind under "Tests of My Patience".
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