A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi...Im a 17 year old girl and a virgin. I have heard of a condition called genophobia and i think i might be suffering from it...however, when attempting sex with my bf, I do want to have sex, I do not avoid trying to have sex...It is just that I get panicky when he tries to enter me, and tighten up even more than before...I don't know what to do...Am I genophobic??Please help as this is really getting me down.Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): No your not. Honestly your really young and probably just scared or maybe uncomfortable.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): This might be a better explanation for your condition. Maybe you should have it checked out:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): Genophobia (To be genophobic) is an extreme fear of sex and often stems from a traumatising event. If you were genophobic the very idea of intercourse would leave you nauseated. If you want sex even though your body wont let you then you are probably suffering from vaginitis or some other physical problem. See your doctor.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2005): lol dont worry your not genophobic
genophobic or genophobia is actually a term for most guys that are afraid of women it has nothing to do with you it has to do with guys trust me i have a friend thats genophobic anytime a girl or woman touchs him he litterly faits as if someone scared the hell out of him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2005): I have another opinion about what is wrong. This may not be correct but it is something that I have personally experienced. There is a condition called vaginitis (I believe this is how its spelt). It's where the muscles around the vagina tighten involuntarily so making it nearly impossible to insert anything into it. The first time that i had sex was incrediabally painful. I wanted to have sex but it hurt so badly that I wanted to stop. I was too tight and I couldn't even put a finger inside without me clenching up. For years I just thought this was a freak condition and I struggled through painful or non-happening sexual experiences because i wanted to be normal.
I found out there was a name for it when I had a pap smear one time and I was too tight for them to do their job. I have slight vaginitis. So I have learnt that as long as I have lubricant sex is great and is possible. I need to take my time with it still and at times initally it still is quite clenched and tight but it gets better.
Now - I don't know if this is what the problem is with you or whether you might just have the first time jitters and not be ready when you think you are. But the main thing about vaginitis is that you can't wear tampons because it hurts to much to insert it.(You can later on though with lubricant) So if you wear tampons most likely its just first time nerves and nothing else.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (16 August 2005):
 Part of the problem with all the medical information available online is a temptation to self-diagnose conditions that may or may not exist.
Personally, from your description, I think you sound perfectly normal. You sound a little overanxious about the normal amount of discomfort experienced during first-time sex, which is your biggest problem.
Maybe you're just not ready for sex yet. That's no big deal, you know. Sex is a big deal for most people and can be very enjoyable, yes, but it's not compulsory... especially not at age 17.
I'd suggest taking a break from "attempting" to have sex. It sounds like you're trying too hard, too soon. When you're ready - really ready - you'll find that your mind and body will be ready for sex simultaneously. The discomfort only lasts a few minutes for most women, honestly.
Why not enjoy "non-penetrative" sex with your boyfriend for a while longer? Mutual masturbation, oral sex, vibrators... whatever you like. You can still have fun together and then get to penetrative sex later. When you really want it.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (15 August 2005):
 I think that basically you are not ready for this. Honestly I do. My belief is that if you truly are ready to do this with someone you love ...then although it will be nervous ....you will feel calmed by the fact that you trust and love this person to be there for you. I dont' think you are genophobic...I did not lose virginity till really late in my life...I was just waiting for someone I felt comfortable with. Sure I tried to several times and like you clamped up cause i just was not ready for it. Take your time...and if you do want to do this still...just relax and enjoy the moment...it will hurt a little but that is just nature...if this person loves you...he will be patient and walk you through it as best as he can....good luck and please be safe when you are having sex....ana
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