A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I met this girl about half a year or more ago, right off the bat I was attracted to her, but I snoozed too long and she started going out with one of my good friends. I became the relationship counselor for her and began to get to know her and like her a lot. My friend broke up with her and I began to spend lots of time with her, but felt it would be improper for me to make a move right away. Since she hates being home she always stays over and sleeps in the same bed with me, but nothing has happened except I'll come up behind her in bed and cuddle with her, although she doesn't push me away she doesn't really cuddle back. Well a month or so back at my house whilst I had people over, she started making out with my roommates brother right in front of me after she had spent the whole weekend over. After that I told her how I felt about her (although I thought it was pretty apparent)and she didn't seem too receptive saying that she just wanted to be best friends with me and when I asked her to date me she said she couldn't "right now". Well, later I found out she made out with some other random guy at a different party and was still talking to my roommates brother (who's a total man slut). At this point I was getting jealous and frustrated and becoming unable to talk to her like I normally would so I told her I would need time to get over her. We stopped talking for a month and on her birthday I called her up and took her out to have a birthday dinner with her. Well, after hanging out with her again, I started realizing why I liked her in the first place again, and now I'm back in the same boat. She's been sleeping over almost every day, but still nothing has happened except me cuddling with her and occasionally she'll put her arm around me when we walk around in public. I really like her, and I think we'd be good together, but she wont give us a chance. And it's driving me crazy when she's in my bed every night and txt'ing guys back and forth that I know she's hooked up with. I feel kind of like she's using me to party at my house. She says she doesn't want to ruin our friendship, but I never wanted a friendship in the first place, should I just say goodbye or stick it out to see if she changes her mind about me.
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male
reader, DV1 +, writes (23 May 2007):
 I would walk away. When a girl says she just wants to be friends, you need to respect that. You need to stop cuddling with her, and give her space. The best thing for you to do would be move on and find someone who is willing to return your feelings.
DV1
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 hi
i think you need to start pulling yourself together, you cant let something like these goon while you know what you exactly want with her. stop torturing yourself and learn to let go of this girl i dont think she is worth it. i know we dont choose who we fall inlove with fortunately we have control over our life which means its your call. even if you might end-up together you will always wonder whenever she starts texting someone because this is a reputation she is building and your mind is taking full notice. she said she doesnt want to ruin the friendship because she knows you will not be able to handle the way she does things.
this girl is selfish because she knows what you want and yet you let her come and sleep over as if you are some kind of a faint who will just rollover? well thats what you have been doing and until u stop this nonsense your heart will continue breaking. remember you are in control of your life here.
stop sharing a bed and sleep on couch or tell her to learn sleeping at her house. other than that you will always watch her with other guys and your love life will suffer in the process because how on earth are you gonna explain to your potential girlfriend that she is just a friend you happen to share a bed with. judge for yourself its your life.
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