A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I really need some advice. Im 5ft 4 and weigh 12 1/2 stone (175 pounds) Im at least 3 stone overweight and i feel really fat and ugly. I used to be a healthy weight and have now lost all my confidence, i dnt even bother making an effort with my appearance anymore. I can't stop comfort eating because of things going on in my life. I used to live at home with my mum but i didnt get along with my step-dad so i had to move out. I now live on my own and get lonely so i just eat. Also i really dont enjoy my job so after a horrible day at work i just come home and eat. ive tried applying for other jobs but no one gets back to me so that makes me feel down. Also me and my boyfriend argue alot and i try telling him my problems but he doesnt understand. Im not sleeping because i get so worried and food is the only thing that makes me feel better. I'd say im depressed because i feel like crying everyday. I'm going on holiday in 8 weeks and would really like to look good in a bikini, but because i'm feeling so down at the minute I cant seem to do anything about it. What can i do?Any helpful advice wold be greatly appreciated
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2011): Don't give up looking for another job. Get a really good CV made up and keep sending it out. Someone will reply eventually. Or change tack and look into a different field of employment. See if you could improve your chances by an evening class in further education. I am sure something will turn up if you put yourself out there. And how about a house share? Have you ever thought of doing that? It would mean being with others, so you wouldn't be alone. As for your mother and step father. You don't mention why you don't get along with him but if the problems aren't too serious. Wouldn't it be better to grit your teeth and put up with him for your mums sake and also because then you can visit without feeling uncomfortable? We don't always approve of others but if your mum likes him it is best to let the pair of them get on with things. It is great that you are off on hols soon. That's something to look forward to. If you know you want to get into a bikini and look fine then it is up to you to lose the weight you want to lose. You aren't daft. You know the type of things you eat that don't help. So just stop eating them and do more exercise. If you eat less and move more, you will lose weight. So get busy and stop buying the junk that tempts you, get more fruit and veg instead.But i think if you can change things between you and your stepdad that will help you to feel a little happier and the over eating might stop. You could have a chat with your mum and tell her how you feel. If you are willing to try, she might able to help fix things between you and your stepdad.
A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (24 May 2011):
 According to your height, you are about 2 stone overweight. And to be honest, it could be a hell of a lot worse. You could easily lose 2lbs a week for the next 8 weeks and be 16lbs lighter by your holiday.
You need to get out of this mindset you are in.
Have you tried to do anything else to reduce the way you're feeling? Exercise? Getting out of the house? Contacting a counsellor?
I have been in a very similar place to you, It ended up in a cycle of self destruction. Overeating - self abuse - suicide attemps. Then I realised that I only have one life to live and why the hell was I spending my days letting myself feel like sh*t?
So give yourself a kick, go for a walk, eat healthily, join weight watchers etc, find something to do after work that you enjoy e.g. join a club.
Make a plan for your future, make little goals and work towards them. Have something to look forward to and you can be more motivated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): You are making excuses and justifying your overseeing I get anxious and eat.... It's good you see the connection and I hope u can work on breaking that connection. But instead of feeling depressed you're fat do somehing about it. Start now join weight watchers, join a gym. If u can't afford that go to your local swimming pool and keep a food diary. Cut out desserts. I know I sound harsh but I was the same as u 2 months ago. Moaning to my friends I wanted to lose weight and needed to exercise and stop eating junk food and I'd talk on and on about how hard it was and why I couldn't do it. Then I just thought today's the day to start. I'm exercising 3 times a week and joined a free onlinecalorie counter and I've lost weight and I feel greAt. Weoverdramatise how hard weight loss is because we cant be bothered to exercise and we like eating and don't want to restrict ourselves. . Actually it's v simple. Just got to commit to it. You have 2 options continue to moan about your weight but still eat and get even fatter or get off your bum and make a change. Good luck
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