A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm really worried about a girl becoming close with my bf. we've been together just over a year but he had to move away for work 4 months ago (he comes home every weekend and I'm moving there also in August). He's obviously made a lot of new friends since he's been away and always tells me when he's going out for drinks etc with them. I've just found out he lied to me, he told me he was going to his friends.. Let's call his friend mike but after a recent conversation wi my partner he dropped himself in it by saying mike had been on holiday that week then admitted he'd gone to see a female friend to console her after she split with her bf. I asked why he lied and he said because he didn't want me to think anything was going on with this woman. He has a lot of female friends and always tells me when he's seeing them.. So why lie about this one? He swears there's nothing more to it but this girl has been messaging him constantly on fb asking him to go over again and the night he went over she later put her status to 'had such a great night, I'm one happy girl' he swears he's not seen her since but now she's befriending all his other friends and is constantly doing things with them which is making me feel she's trying to get closer to him. If he wants to see his other friends she is always there which is making me uncomfortable, I really need some advice!
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess  +, writes (12 June 2012):
 He is well aware that she is after him, In fact, if she is being that obvious with her facebook statuses, then I would be willing to bet that she has actually told him how she feels.I agree with what everyone else has said, you do indeed need to talk to him. Tell him she is making it blatantly obvious that she has feelings for him, and ask him why he is playing dumb about it, because you KNOW he is a lot smarter then that. Also ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed? If you had a new male friend who was wiggling his way into your circle of friends, so he could be closer to you. What would he think if this guy was begging, on facebook, for you to come over to his house and spend time with him, directing all of his facebook statuses at you, making it obvious to HIM, and others reading it, that thus guy had the hots for you?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): Move to be with him asap and stop this in its tracks. Yes she sounds as if she is after him. He may be flattered. But I would just be around as much as you can, so nothing can develop and make it clear to your boyfriend that you are uncomfortable about this girl. He has a girlfriend, you, and he needs to realise you are unhappy at the moment about whatever this is, regardless of whether he is not interested himself in this girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): Thank you for your reply. He is adamant that she's not after him, he says he just can't see it as he sees them as friends and is sure that's all it is for her too, but it's obvious she wants it to be more. I've told him my concerns and he just doesn't seem to understand! All her fb statuses etc are either about him or aimed at him and it's driving me insane because he physically can't stop seeing her because she's in with all his friends!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Hi
You are right to be concerned, this girl is clearly after your boyfriend. Whether its reciprocated is another matter. Your boyfriend lied, for whatever reason about being at her place. However. He still comes home weekends to you, he can't be out every night in the week,not if he's working in the day, he wouldn't be fit to work.
I would tell him your concerns about the night he went to hers, tell him you think she's after him, ask why he has to have her on his FB friends. He can't stop her joining them when they all go out but can make it less personal by only communicating when others are there.
Watch him and listen to your gut feeling.
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