A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been single for 4 yrs now, I met this woman bout a year ago. We both we single for the same amount of time and decided to friends with benifits. We spend time together. We knew what we wanted which wasn't a relationship. As time go on we started catching feelings for each other, hers more stronger. Sex was amazing everytime, it was me and her only, even though we both knew that we were not obligted to each other but we kept it like that. Just me and her. She fell for me but knew i wasn't feeling the same. She told me that she have fallen for me and cared for me very much. Selfish and inconsiderate i was of her feelings and mine, i pushed it to the side. My reason for ignoring our feelings were, i wanted to in a better situation financially before any relationship. She knew and understood. But her feelings got stronger and she began telling me she loved me. I did also because started feeling it but at the same time wasn't showing it enough. She moved away twice came back and we started back each time. Now she's fed with everything that went on and she ended it. Its been a few weeks now and i'm crazy about her, i've gotten in a terrible car accident and laying on the bed put spme things in prospective. I've expressed my love for her and apologized time after time for the way i treated her, but she's fed up and afraid that i'm the same guy. I'm crazy about her now, can't sleep at nights, i have day and night dreams of her. She told me she intend to move on but not gonna be looking for love or casual sex for a verrrry looooong time. Her exact words. I know in my heart there's a window to mend what i've broken but she's hurt and wouldn't allow me. What do i do now, its so hard to get her out of my head. I sometimes tear up when i think back on how i treated her.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Thanks for sharing.
This is a good cautionary tale that points out what many will ignore at their own peril. Intimacy is intimacy. Sexual, emotional, friendly, financial. Intimacy pulls people together and leads to more intimacy.
It is sad that you have hurt each other by trying to limit your intimacy emotionally. Only people who share so much can hurt and be hurt in this way.
I agree with you that there still may be time to salvage this. You need to balance the intimacy by opening up the other areas of your life to her. Right now she is feeling used and stung and just seeing you hurts. Be patient, be ready to be hurt.
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