A
male
age
30-35,
*ordan L. Davis
writes:hi, i've asked three questions on here already about phone sex. i told my girlfriend and she is goin to stay with me. but i'm worried about gaining her trust back and her families trust too. but i saw on her profile on facebook one of her friends posted somethin and said that that's harsh what he and i'm about your boyfriend, and that she wants to smack me. just those few words really hurt me. now i hat that she's just talking about it openly and with friends of her's i probably met. i'm so pissed off bu apathetic right now. i'm seein her at her house today to talk about us but now, i don't even wanna say anything, i feel like shit, i'm not a man, just a dog. i never expected that i'd ever do this. although it was only phone sex it is cheating but i didn't know that until now. and i'm still havin thoughts of suicice just cuz the fact of all this pain and shame. how do i get over my guilt and forgive myself? Cuz right now, i feel like a cockroach about to be squashed by someones shoe and definitely when i go to her house today. What do I do?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 January 2009):
 Sorry this is so late, I see 3 days have passed and I hope you're feeling better now. Sometimes people do things without thinking about the consequences, as you have so painfully discovered.
She is upset with you because you had phone sex with someone else? I'd probably want to smack you too, but I probably wouldn't go public with that on facebook. See, she's hurt and angry still and is working through her feelings, just as you are doing.
You both are growing up and I see that you both have a lot of maturing still to do.
My advice to you is to acknowledge that you made some mistakes, figure out what lessons you have learned from them, and then do your very best not to do things without giving them some thought first. Just try to imagine what the consequences might be if you do x or y. It's "think before you speak" only swap "act" for "speak".
When you do talk with your girlfriend, remember that you both are human, you both make mistakes and you both deserve some forgiveness. So try to really LISTEN to her and choose your own words carefully, so that you get your point across without being mean. Okay?
Good luck.
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