A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I have a crush on a guy at my current work place. We are both interns and not getting paid for working, it's just work experience. The placement doesn't have a finish date, we are just working on a project and hoping to get funding which will be used to pay us from then onward. He is 5 years older than me, but really we are kinda in the same place in life and an age gap doesn't bother me. I don't know how he feels about me. Sometimes i think he likes me, but others i think he just sees me as a friend/work colleague. We work side by side everyday and are in constant communication in a small office. I just have a crush on him and i don't particularly know much about him. I know his history and where he stays and a couple of likes and interests, but not a lot. I really just want to figure him out, learn more about him. He lives very far away so he can't really stay out late and go to bars and stuff in the area.The main problem is, because he is at work. I don't want to say i like him and be rejected and then have to work with him. I also don't want to date him and then break up with him several months later and still have to work with him. But i really like him and the feelings i get for him are so frustrating when he's near or getting nervous at the thought of getting to go on lunch with him or something. We don't really know whats going to happen with our future. We might be working as interns for the next year, if we don't get funding he will definitely be leaving. I would probably like to wait until before he leaves and confess and risk nothing, but the feelings are killings me for the moment. What should i do?I sort of want to tell him how i feel so that i can maybe get over him.I want to tell him that i have feelings for him. I would like to learn more about him. If he doesn't feel the same way, then i would still like to learn more about him and be friends with him and not just a random work colleague.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): I have a bit of the same problem.
If he rejects her, how does she maintain a working environment and not be embarassed by the situation?
Or before she even knows if she is rejected, how may she approach the findings of his feelings before confessing hers?
Thats what I want to know!
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 If neither one of you is married or committed, then go for it.
There's that silly rule about "never date a co-worker." I think it's silly because you don't get many chances at happiness in life. When you DO get one, you should take advantage of it. You'll move on and hopefully have your dream career someday; this is just a job and you probably won't even remember it five years from now. Love is more important.
You ask how to get over him. I ask you this: Why are you already giving up? Getting over him is premature.
You've already given up hope and don't even know how he feels. Don't write him off yet; for all you know he harbours the same feelings that you are harbouring now.
I've learned that you have to take chances in life, and if you don't you'll regret it. The worst thing that happens is that he rejects you! That sucks, I know... but you won't die. We've all been shot down. I have. You move on, satisfied that at least you have your answer.
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