A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I split from a guy 3 months ago. Didnt trust him and found out after he had kept something from me for the year we were together. It was nothing major but he didnt know what do do at the time. Anyway since splitting we have established a friendship and thats good. Our children still see each other so they are happy. Recently though hes been saying he knows he made a mistake and is paying for it, but would have me back in a shot. Still loves me loads etc. He did sleep with his previous ex twice after we split because he said his head was all over the place but knew it was a mistake,and then he had a friends with benefits for a few weeks but says he put a stop to that a couple of weeks ago because she wanted more than he was ever going to want to give her (shes 10 yrs older than him) and he isnt ready to meet anyone else yet.In the last few days ive started wondering if we could make a go of it again. I dont know why i thought this, maybe pressure from him recently, it was fine as friends before in my head. Anyway this week has been awful, last night he was txting saying he wants to come away on a break i have booked for me and my children next wk during half term, and was telling me he loved me. Then said nite. But then switched his phone off. I know this because i get delivery reports. I txt him at 4am just to say i couldnt sleep and hopefully this wont wake him, or is he having it off (meaning the phone or with someone haha) still no delivery report, then an hour later at 5am 2 delivery reports and then a reply saying haha ive forgotten what having it off is. Nothing about why he switched his phone off.I replied with u better catch a couple of hours sleep, no wonder you are so tired lately oh dear haha.Basically im now thinking hes been round the friends with benefits last night late (she is a taxi driver so maybe her shift had ended?)This morning he txt again at 7 saying hope your ok, and that hes just had a hot steamy shower. I joked saying i bet you have haha.Now hes saying hes dropped his work lad off at a job and back home sorting stuff and to call if i want a chat. But im thinking maybe hes gone home for a sleep to catch up for last night!Do i let him come with us on holiday? my children would love his child to be there but i havent mentioned it to them thankfully.What should i do? Hes got me over a barrel with the kids because they are each others worlds so i dont feel i can bin him off completely. Its a nightmare.
View related questions:
a break, friend with benefits, my ex, on holiday Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): At least he cant hurt you now you know he is playing games. I wonder where he will be telling her he is whilst he is away, business trip - with his daughter...howdoes that work?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOuch that hurt haha, not you, tonight. Same thing happened, chatting away in txt tonight, 11.30 comes and pow, off goes the phone. How weird is that. Now he knows im not stupid so why not even just put it on silent? and out of site so she cant see it? Its all very strange. Hes been saying in txt he wishes the kisses in my txt were real etc etc, yet its all pointing to me being right.I was stupid enough today to believe the flat battery one. And yes, i stupidly agreed for him and his daughter to come away with us. I cant stop that now, they are all excited.What a mess. Its helped me realise now that i wouldnt ever go back to him, the trust thing. But i just wanna get this holiday over with now and hope we can be friends through that.Its midnight now and i cant see me getting any sleep.I really know how to screw my own head up.xxxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe just came round to get me to type a quote for him.
He said his battery died last night. And he woke up at 5 and thankfully noticed because his alarm wouldnt of gone off.
I made a joke about i assumed he had gone round hers and chuckled. (because at the end of the day i have no right to dictate who he sees if we are only mates) but he said noooooooo. Then proceeded to say she txt him yesterday hinting that she needed someone to go to a friends 40th party with her, but he said he didnt take the bait.
Now i am wondering if im reading too much into it. The thing that bothers me is if he is saying he still loves me, why would he be up to something with someone else. That would be a bit messed up in my eyes. But i do make a joke about her to him, and have told him im his mate so he can speak to me about anything. There should be no reason why he would feel he has to keep her secret. A few weeks ago when he told me about her he was open and we even laughed about her sexual appetite and how he now relises sex isnt everything because shes too much!
Unless its because he knows that would be a bit weird, telling me he loves me then off sleeping with her.
Oh i dont know.
I must like complicating my life mustn't i! ha
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): Never,Never,Never go backwards. Why would you when there is a whole world for you to look forward to? Let the children have a relationship and be civil, friends if you like but don't allow his foot in the door and to start pressuring you. Go on holiday alone, with your child offer to take his child if you want them to come but make it clear that you are not ready for him to be part of your life. Sounds like he wants the best of all worlds. Why else do people turn their phones off unless they dont want to be disturbed and how many reasons are there for not wanting to be disturbed?
...............................
|
