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anonymous
writes: I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. He loves me so much and would do anything for me, the problem is I don't fancy him anymore. Its so unfair on him as he knows something is wrong because I've been distant from him lately but I can't just tell him I don't find him attractive! What shall I do? I don't want to break up with him as when we are together we have a great time and get on so well. I know I'll never find anyone who loves me the way he does. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, popple  +, writes (25 November 2009):
Same as you guys. Brilliant amazing guy, but dont fancy him anymore. He's perfect in every way, except that. Difference is I finished with him a few days ago. It was the most heartbreaking thing and I still hurt so much inside and know he's in so much pain too. But if you dont fancy someone, its just hanging out with your best friend. And although thats incredibly important for a relationship, there has to be a spark there too. I would rather finish with him now, than drag on and probably fancy others later on. Id never want to cheat or hurt him. Its such a hard difficult problem to deal with!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): I have the same problem at the moment...been with my boyfriend for seven months now and just don't find him as attractive as I did in the first few months. In fact I'm finding it hard to remember why I fancied him in the first place, I look at him now and don't find anything attractive about him!
But I also love and care for him so much and I don't want to hurt him. And I know I would be heartbroken if I broke up with him as we get on amazingly and have so much fun together.
I don't know what to do. If the spark is not there anymore then what's the point? But letting him go is easier said than done...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): why should we have to move on to another partner just because they are no longer attractive to us? I've been with my bf for almost 6 years and recently he's put on 5 stone in weight. i dont find him attractive anymore and it has really affected our sex life, but i wouldnt dream about breaking up with him because of this as we're talking about getting engaged in the new year. even if you find your lover unattractive, talk to them, let them know what the problem is. it might hurt them to begin with, to hear you pointing out their bad points, but if you're open with them, you can work on the problem together. Our relationship has improved, although getting him to lose weight is somewhat tricky, i will never give up on him! Hope this helps!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): i have the same problem you have to think to yourself if you found someone else what if the same thing happens how much does it matter to you the spark always goes after a couple of years
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A reader, Anna, writes (4 February 2005): you know what.. i've got exactly the same problem as you!! been with my boyfriend for a few months and now he's fallen in love with me. truth is, i dont really like him that much anymore. sure i care for him.. but hardly as much as he does for me. i think the best thing we can both do is move on.. but i cant imagine breaking his heart.. seeing him happy makes me happy.. but surely we cant just stay in a relationship because the other person needs us? we have to think of ourselves and build up the courage to move on with our lives and find someone that makes our heart beat faster for a change. it may sound harsh.. but its better than making him think that everythings fine and that we're just having mood swings!!
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A reader, alex, writes (2 February 2005): I dont think any of us fancy our other half as much as we did in the initial stages of a relationship, it will come an go at different times. Do you love him the same way he loves you? Thats what you need to ask yourself. If you do then you have a strong basis for long lasting relationship,in fact the best there is! If you dont then let him go. It would not be fair on him or you to continue with it as your only basis is that you are worried you will not find any one who feels so much for you and thats just selfish.
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