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age
41-50,
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writes: Hey guys,I've recently found out a female friend of mine is starving herself with the sole aim of fitting into her old clothes. It's mind boggling to me for a number of reasons. Firstly, when I say starving herself I'm talking about her only eating maximum 800 calories a day when, for a woman of her age (32) and activity level, she needs 2000 a day just to be healthy. 1500 just to keep her brain working properly.Now I know her reasons, she wants to be thin, fit into those clothes to make herself happier and more confident. Except she's losing weight so fast and eating so little that by xmas her body will start to fail, her mind will become mush and her happiness will be replaced by misery and exhaustion. I've seen this lots of times before in other women.There are two ways this will go because I know her well enough to know she's not going start eating healthily and exercising to right this. So she will either be skinny broken wretch by xmas or she will start eating properly and regain all the weight she lost because she destroyed her metabolism so much that eating normal amounts will now be stored as fat because she has forced her body into "scarce food/starvation" mode. Basically yo-yo dieting.Now I'm not asking for advice on how I can help. I've already had numerous discussions on what's happening and she knows what she's doing is going to make her sick, but the combination of compliments she's getting and fitting into her clothes make the declining health worth it for her.My question is how do women (and some men) justify this? When they know they're either going to get sick or just regain the weight just as quickly.Is looking good in the short term really more important than your overall health?Do you not realize us guys are more attracted to healthy girls with a bit of extra weight than we are skinny women obsessed with dieting? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): It sounds like there is a lot more going on than simply just wanting to fit into an old pair of jeans. It sounds like she may possibly have an Eating Disorder. In her mind, she thinks she is bigger than she really is. She may also have depression or other things going on as well.
Make it clear to her that you care, are concerned, and support her, and encourage her to visit a mental health professional.
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (14 September 2010):
 There's an incredible amount of pressure on women to look 'perfect', because so much emphasis is put on appearance being tied to self-worth. We're faced with it every day, whether it be airbrushed pictures in a magazine or a diet ad exploiting insecurity for profit. For some, it becomes overwhelming. Men aren't valued for their appearance on the same level, which is why the vast majority of those struggling with eating disorders are female. Your friend has a serious issue with self image, she needs professional help and reassurance. Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do beyond that. If she doesn't want to change, she's not going to until she gets a harsh wake up call and snaps out of it.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 September 2010):
 No it's not just to fit into her clothes, your friend has an eating disorder and needs help.
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