A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It is a very unfortunate situation so I could use some help. I am 5'9", considerably humourous, intelligent, and a supposedly extremely attractive female, to which I have been offered a modeling contract with a popular clothing chain.Now I have an ex whom I care for dearly about (a two year relationship). Of course after a turbulent year I called it off figuring it was the best thing. He lied about other girls(talking whilst the were obviously interested, yet never cheated; that I know of), and to an extent was emotionally abusive toward me.Of course my friends were overjoyed to see the breakup, they were concerned about my welfare.I could always talk to him and I still feel that bond.I dress up when I go places, trying to gain the attention of someone else. Yes I gain their attention, I am 'checked out' by seemingly attractive men, but never are they so bold as to approach me. Maybe they are intimidated.I'm shy, very, so this poses a problem. Lately this has depressed me, all during so my ex has been trying to take me back. I miss him but truly I don't seem myself with him for long-term. Recently I have discovered that he has a new girlfriend. I turned into a mess. I can't stand seeing him with someone else. I now realize my mistake in talking to him about it, for now he's considering reconciliation and breaking up with this poor new girl. Perhaps it's my depression bringing this on, that empty feeling pulling back familiar emotions. I do not know how to handle this situation, so I hope someone can offer any advice. One question being the ex, the other being how to have a man approach you. All help is welcome.
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depressed, emotionally abusive, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): I did not take that offer(modeling) I didn't even apply, it was offered by a store rep while I was there,I hate having my picture taken, infact I don't think I'm that attractive, I live in a small farming community and men don't come by easily. I smile, I try, I'm just nervous. Very. What I ask is how I go about dealing with the fact he thinks we may reconcile if I don't even know what I want. Well I guess I do, but dealing with feelings is hard. Thank you for your advice.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010): I wonder, since you're really good looking plus you probably wear makeup when you go out (which is like femininity on steroids), then you maybe too intimidating? What if you toned down the eye makeup? Cute, rather than super sultry?
Because you're shy as well, you may have difficulty with eye contact. To signal to a guy that you want him to approach, give him steady eye contact a bit longer than usual, then look down and to the side, then look back at him, repeat.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (7 January 2010):
 Good advice satin,
To the poster well if your as hot as you say guys will assume your a stuck up spoiled rotten rich girl born with a silver spoon or you allready have a bf witch in a way you do, you may be broke up but your mind is still on that other guy,
The shy look can also be interpreted as the ewww what are you looking at ugly look. SMile let guys kno your available, oh and take some initiative.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 January 2010):
First up, your ex isn't the guy for you, and you really need to end contact with him. You don't love him, you're just upset that he's now moved on and you haven't found anyone else yet. Forget him. He's your ex because you know he's not the one.
Guys probably do find you a little intimidating. They will look at you and be literally terrified because they'll think that you're either taken or you're not interested. Male egos are terribly fragile. I think you need to address your depression first. You're obviously a great girl, but you can't see it just yet. Focus on yourself for a while, build up your career. Your guy is out there waiting, but you need to sort your depression first. Then, when you're ready, you'll find him.
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