A
female
age
41-50,
*uicyjanet
writes:I am 29 year old married woman with a son and I’m currently in a relationship with another man. I work in this company and I met this amazing guy a couple of years ago and we became friends and at that time we don’t have anything in between us yet but we do see each other often at work. I knew he has a girlfriend; he even posted her picture in front of his office desk and most people were intrigued because the girl is very pretty and obviously a lot younger. At that time I was dating other guys because I’m feeling really bored, lonely and neglected because my husband is away to another country and I want to spice up my life and I honestly longed for someone to make me feel special although I admit I’m not pretty but all women want to feel they are important and adored for something. I saw how he was sweet to his girlfriend and I saw how she was special to him, how attentive he was to her, I saw that he adored the girl and he was proud to show her pictures to everyone. I realized how lucky that girl was and I secretly longed for that kind of attention too…Until lately, her luck had changed I had an affair with him and we secretly dated for 7 months. I knew everything about him and that girl and they had been together for four years. I know how frustrated my other guy is with his career, family and his relationship with his girlfriend. He said that he never really got over with what the girl did to him because she cheated on him; he said that the girl admitted that she went out with her ex BF. Although according to him she was very sincere and apologetic and she regrets what she did and she tried her best to prove her love to him and he forgave her and still continued his affair with her. But he still wasn’t able to accept what she did, he said it still hurts him a little at times, and so I gave him my full support and care. And I did my best so to encourage him to feel better about himself. We had this great chemistry and it was amazing, we had so much in common and he was terrific in bed. And I gave him all the wild pleasures that he needed so he could release his frustrations. I know that our intimacy is on the highest level and I know that his intimacy with her going really down. I knew that he loved me more than her and that made me feel really great about myself although I wasn’t that happy coz I want him to break up with her. He told me that he will break up with her eventually, but he said he needed to take things slow because he can’t figure out how to break up with her because he knew it would really tear her apart. So I let him do his thing, then he said that she was not being supportive anymore and she has been constantly fighting with him and that really pressured him. So I kept myself at my best behavior trying not to pressure him but only give him support and pleasure. I wanted him so badly, I loved him so much. He was is so amazing and he loves me so, he made me feel so special, he even said that I shouldn’t feel insecure with his girl because for him I’m simple and beautiful unlike her who is a spoiled brat and immature. We started living together and see each other every day. It was so great; he was very romantic and sweet to me. He even said that he admired how a great mother I am to my son and how caring I am to them both, and he said he would love me for the rest of his life and he would be willing to fight for me to very end. And yet he never really broke up with her girlfriend and I thought he did because he told me so until lately she found out about us and she left him. At last! I finally had him to myself. But I was angry at the girl because she had put him and me into shame to her family and friends, and I believe she had shown our pictures to them which is really immature and she even posted on her account that she was even glad to have left him like some careless b#tch! But now I’m already happy and she doesn’t threaten me. Now we are officially together but somehow, I am somewhat bothered that maybe he might still has some feelings for her but he chose to let her go and not bother her anymore. I may be the bad person for doing what I did, but I am just like any other woman who loved so much and who’s willing to do anything to fight for the one she loves. I am terribly in love with him but I’m worried about our future, I’m not really sure where our relationship gets us but I’m very hopeful that we will always be together. My question is: Should we really pursue a future together? I’d be willing to leave my husband for him but I am afraid what my son will think. I am very hopeful that my son and him would really like each other, as of now they seemed to get along well. But my son wants his own dad. What should I do? I am afraid that if I leave him for my husband I will regret it forever. And he might even get back to his ex and I’d be terribly jealous, is that even possible? But what we have is real love, isn’t it? Please help. We love each other so much. Thank you and Hoping for your sincere advice
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affair, at work, broke up, has a girlfriend, her ex, his ex, immature, insecure, jealous, married woman Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012): "I’d be willing to leave my husband for him but I am afraid what my son will think. I am very hopeful that my son and him would really like each other, as of now they seemed to get along well. But my son wants his own dad. What should I do?"File for divorce, sign over custody of your son to his father, enter into a binding agreement to pay monthly child support, and make immediate arrangements for him to go live with his dad full time where he will enjoy all the benefits and advantages of the loving, caring, responsible full-time live-in parent he so desparately needs.Once your divorce is final and you have an agreement for child support/visitation in place under a judge's approval, then you will be free to pursue a future with your two-timing boyfriend unburdened by the boring, dull, mundane, humdrum, unspicy day-to-day existence of a mother actively raising her own child and therefore ALWAYS putting his best interests, emotional well-being, and long-term future happiness ahead of her own unquenched libido.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 June 2012):
 First thing first, if you are already preparing future with another man you should divorce your husband first, no excuses. I am not sure if you can hide this affair from your husband. Do you think your son is going to keep quiet about the man you are basically living with? Your feelings are very strong with each other right now. Realistically, if your lover had a problem with his ex cheating on him, wouldn't he have a problem with you too cheating with your husband? What you have at the moment is perfect but can he still see you as a wife material if you can't patiently wait for your husband to come home? If sex can only be juicy outside of a relationship how can you keep it up when you become serious and there is nothing more to look forward to, and that after all the strong orgasms there is still laundry to do, awkward silences in the house, and then wondering what's the point of all this. You will know if it's real love when all the excitement is gone and you still want to be with each other. Your love and his ex failed each other. You failed your husband. What your husband is doing overseas you will never know if he's the same way as you. You can say real love is strong feelings but it is also being able to enjoy life when you are apart from each other and the novelty dies down.
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