A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so i use a back masager or idk but it just vibrates but anyways i use that to have orgasms i put it right on my clit i dont move it around or anything i jus set it there..im just wondering can that make it harder for me to hav an orgasm during sex cuz theres no vibration and i cant finger myself its jus boring to me an it agrivates me cus i can never orgasim i also have sex and dont even get close to having an orgasm it seems vibration is the only thing that works should i stop using vibration and work on just using my fingers???? im tired of having unfufilled sex please help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Chaddles  +, writes (19 August 2009):
Yep, ALOT has changed. But alas, it is true.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 August 2009):
 There's a survey that suggests that using a vibrator helps women orgasm even when they are not using it. Go figure. Others worry that using it too much will get you used to the vibrations so that you can't orgasm.
http://women.webmd.com/features/5-things-you-didnt-know-about-masturbation
I think the key is to understand your body and its responses, and if it takes a vibrator to bring you to orgasm, well, then it takes a vibrator to bring you to orgasm. It doesn't mean you're broken or flawed. So do not feel guilty or somehow wrong for using it as an aid.
In terms of having an orgasm during sexual intercourse, only about one quarter to one third of women report being able to do so. So the vast majority of women do NOT orgasm from vaginal penetrative sex alone.
Think of your clitoris as a if it were a penis. (It is made from the same starter cells as a man's penis, after all.) Then consider that it has a 'root' that extends into the body. Some people believe that that 'root' is what the famous or infamous G-spot is inside the vagina.
Imagine if a man was told he was somehow flawed because he couldn't reach orgasm merely from having his scrotum stimulated, and his penis wasn't being touched or stimulated at all. He'd look at you like you were crazy. What, leave the penis out of the equation? That's nuts! I think people consider the vagina as the counterpart to the penis, when in fact, the clitoris has much more in common with the penis. If it were all about the vagina, there would be many more pleasure receptors inside the vagina than there actually are. And those that are there are within the first few inches of the vagina.
So stop fretting about this. Yes, it's a good idea to try things without the vibrator. It's okay to just explore and play and see what different sensations do for you.
Here's some more reading for you that might help you put things in perspective.
http://men.webmd.com/features/6-sex-mistakes-men-make
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=153#moresexy [this one you'll have to copy/paste into the browser]
Take the judgement out of your exploration. Relax. Don't let the 'shoulds' or 'musts' create irrational expectations.
Good luck, have fun, and for your own sake, safe sex!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): im not sure but i heard vibrators may dull natural sensations if used too frequently.if it is true(hope not)try a short break from vibrators see if that helps.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (18 August 2009):
 Oh! your post said 13-15 I assumed you were around 13. Which was a bit of a shock LOL.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim 16 lol not 13
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (18 August 2009):
God almighty! When I was 13 all I could think of doing, was being able to jump the big brook in the park. Times have changed obviously!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow, well thanks ALOT so i gues i should try not using vibration then
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A
male
reader, Chaddles +, writes (18 August 2009):
It will have a effect on the arousal of the clit. The more you use it, the body gets used to the vibrations and when you have ordinary sex without it, it's harder to achieve a full orgasm because it's used to the vibrations produced by the vibrator.
Believe it or not, I'm 14 and know lots about the female body. :)
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