A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The problem I'm having is that I don't enjoy fingering. My boyfriend has fingered me 3 or 4 times now, twice for a long period of time. I love being intimate with him but fingering just doesn't feel pleasurable to me. I'm a virgin so he can only use one finger, it's just that the last time we tried, when he pushed his finger in and out, I actually started getting this almost sick feeling in my stomach. I'm sure I'd enjoy it more if I didn't get this feeling.Any idea why I do get this feeling? It's nothing to do with worrying or our relationship because I trust him implicitly and love him completely. Will this feeling go when I become more used to fingering? It's been a very long time between the most recent time we did this and the time before.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the answers. I thought maybe it was something wrong with me if I wasn't enjoying it, but as you have said, perhaps it's just not for me. I don't think I'll stop trying straight away, but I'm not afraid to tell him to stop or change what he's doing if I'm not enjoying it (I did this the last time). To rhythmandblues2: Yes, we have considered sex however my boyfriend lets me decide the pace of our relationship and we never go further than we are comfortable with. If we do decide to have sex, he has said it will be on my terms and when we're both completely happy with the other's decision - neither of us wants to rush into something the other may regret. We have also already discussed birth control and I have had 2 out of 3 of my hpv vaccines. This is something we both take very seriously - we're both virgins and have been together nearly a year but are not in any rush to have sex. Thanks for your good advice though, and I'm sure there are many people on this site who do need to be reminded of the things you've mentioned.
A
female
reader, Monkey89  +, writes (1 January 2010):
Well seeing that your a virgin that's problay why it hurts or maybe your boyfriend is being to rough so you could suggest oral or tell him how it feels.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 January 2010):
 Stop doing it if you don't enjoy it. First of all, women don't have many nerve ending inside the vagina ( they are in the clitoris) Why not ask him to "play" with that instead.. He might make you orgasm a time or two instead of feeling sick.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): If you don't like it there is nothing wrong with you, he either isn't doing it correctly or you simply don't like the feeling. Fingers are rough, they often don't feel good to a lot of women....so you aren't exactly the odd ball here.
Stop doing it if you don't like it and ask him to stop, that you don't want to be that sexually intimate at this time.....You say you are a virgin, however, what you two are doing is leading up to losing your virginity sooner than later. I hope that you look into birth control and how to protect yourself from STDs. You should also consider getting the Gardasil Vaccine to Help protect you from cervical cancer caused by the HPV virus which by the way can live underneath your boyfriend's fingernails.
Your young age at being sexually active is the very thing that puts you at a high risk for contracting this STD. Condoms do not protect against it and you can get it having sex one time....it isn't about multiple partners...it is about a very common human virus with 43 active strains.....it can lead to deadly cancer. Waiting until you are much older to have sex will dramatically reduce your odds of getting cervical cancer from HPV.
I worked with a 19 year old girl that got cervical cancer, she had only had sex twice before her diagnosis.
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