A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm 18 and still a virgin and haven't gotten very intimate with a guy before. it's not because of religious reasons or anything. anyway, i'm kind of worried because i'm visiting my bf in a couple months and i never told him i was a virgin. i haven't lied to him, but he knows i was engaged before so he expects me to have already had sex and i just haven't corrected him (no i didn't say anything to give him the idea that i had sex). my first problem is telling him about being a virgin, but i'm also afraid that he won't want to have sex if i tell him why. (my last bf tried very hard to have sex with me, forcibly)i do want to be with him but i'm worried that things will change. so shoud i just not tell him or tell him and hope for the best?
View related questions:
engaged, still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, j223 +, writes (21 October 2009):
I would tell him and see what he say you should tell him over the phone
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): If he gives you any crap dump him. Your to young to have much of a past.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks all...really. i'm still pretty nervous though. i don't want him to think of me as a walking disaster when he finds out my past
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): You dont have to tell him if you dont want to and he doesnt ask.Dont think of it as being something to be ashamed of.You should be proud and he should be chuffed.I would be if i were in his shoes.Most guys would be i'm sure. Not all guys are looking for a Mrs Robinson clone.And anyway..It was Mrs Robinsons inexperienced daughter who got the man in the end.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): Being a virgin is NOT a liability!
If this guy finds it a problem then leave him for someone who values your chastity. There are TONS of guys who would.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): you should tell that you are a virgin. to be honest it shouldnt matter if you are a virgin or not, it doesnt change you in anyway. your boyfriend should understand and it should not change the way he feels about you. im sure he likes you for who you are. i understand you will be nervous to tell him but it is the best thing to do as lying only leads to problems and heartache.
good luck :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): Ok, if this guy really likes you, it's not going to be a deal killer. First, tell him that you had an abusive BF in your past... no need for gore here, he probably will not dig to deep. Second, if you're ready to have sex, expaine to him that he's the first man that you feel this way about, and you'd like to give this gift to him, and in turn he can give the gift of taking his time to make sure that you're first expeience is a good one. Too many times young women jump at having sex to get the deed done- you didn't. It's NOT a problem!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): You have to tell him. Anything else will be just the same as lying because you're leading him to think you're not a virgin. That said, virgin or no virgin; you shouldn't have sex with him just because he expects it, you should have it because you want it.
But yes, if you care about this guy at all you have to tell him.
...............................
|
